PS 3515 
I .0575 
|C63 
J1916 
Copy 1 



PRIGD Q^ aDNT>x5^ 




T. S. DENI50N & COMPANY 

PUBLISHERS CHICAGO 



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T. S. DENISON & COMPANY, Publishers,154W. Randolph St.. Chicago 



A COUNTRY BOY SCOUT 



A COMEDY DRAMA FOR BOYS 
In Three Acts 



BY 

WALTER BEN HARE 

AUTHOR OF 

"Aaron Boggs, Freshman," "Abbu San of Old Japan," "Civil Serv- 
ice," "A College Town," "Deacon Dubbs," "A Bird in the Hand," 
"The Fascinators," "Laughing Water," "Macbeth a la Mode," 
"Mrs. Tubbs of Shantytown," "Kicked Out of College," 
"Parlor Matches," "A Poor Married Man," "Rose 
o' My Heart," "A Rustic Romeo," "Sewing 
for the Heathen," "A Southern Cinder- 
ella," "Savageland," etc., etc. 




CHICAGO 

T. S. DENISON & COMPANY 
Publishers 



rl^i \(,1 



:\ 



A COUNTRY BOY SCOUT 



\ 



CHARACTERS. 

Huckleberry. .Aged Fifteen, the Worst Boy in the County 

Pinky Pinfeathers A Black Roustabout 

Judge Tolliver The Ozvner of the Coal Mines 

Mr. McCloskey Manager of the Supply Store 

Norman Tolliver Aged Sixteen, the Judge's Son 

Moe Skinsky A Hehreiv Crook from the City 

WuN Lung Loo A Chinese Laundryman 

Flapjack Aged Fifteen, Huck's Chum 

Tubby Timmons Aged Fourteen, a Musical Genius 

Micky Malone Aged Thirteen, a Little Hunter 

Squirmy Bean Aged Fourteen, a Little Water Rat 

Buster Brown Aged Fifteen, zvith an "Eddication" 

Freckles Klosson Aged Thirteen, a Breaker Boy 

Lengthy Smith Aged Sixteen, One of the Gang 

Breaker Boys, Boy Scouts, Etc. 



Act I — The Supply Store at the Coal Mines. Rough- 
house Baseball in a Grocery Store. The Judge Gives Huck 
a Chance. 

Act n — Same Scene. A Barrel Full of Ghosts. Trapped. 

Act hi — Same Scene. Boy Scout Song and Drill. Old 
Glory, 



Place — A Small Coal Mining Settlement in Pennsylvania. 



Time — Present Day. 



Time of Flaying— About Two Hours. 



copyright, 1916, BY EBEI)I'H. NOJUWS. 

NOV 13 1916 ®'='-° '^^*"^ 



/^5'75 C 6!" A COUNTRY BOY SCOUT 3 

STORY OF THE PLAY. 

A Country Boy Scout was written to exploit th.e aims and 
advantages of the Boy Scouts of America, but the play is 
suitable to any organization of boys, boys' schools, Sunday 
School classes, etc. The play is full of action and excite- 
ment and teaches an excellent moral lesson. No boy is 
really a bad boy, he is simply in a bad environment. Given 
the average "bad" boy, or group of bad boys, and place 
them in the right environment and they will develop into 
sturdy, upright, honorable boys, the forerunners of the 
coming great men of the country. 

The story concerns a group of boys working in the coal 
mines in a small settlement in Pennsylvania. They are called 
bad boys, and their leader, Huckleberry, has achieved the 
unenviable reputation of the worst boy in the county. Judge 
Tolliver, the owner of the coal mines, decides to place his 
son Norman in charge of the supply store at the mines, to 
win him away from the temptations of the city. Huck is 
hired as a clerk in the supply store and, although he is full 
of mischief and nearly wrecks the supply store with a game 
of baseball, the Judge gives him his chance and he develops 
into an honest, straightforward lad, a typical Boy Scout. 

Norman is in the clutches of a loan shark, one Moe Skin- 
sky, and has stolen twenty dollars from the cash drawer 
of the supply store. Skinsky arrives and forces Norman 
to assist him in robbing the cash, drawer, but Huck, with his 
ever faithful negro friend. Pinky, thwarts the money lender 
by placing a steel skunk trap in the money drawer and 
catching the real thief. 

Wun Lung Loo, the Chinese laundryman, is the victim of 
most of the practical jokes of the breaker boys in the mines, 
but he neatly turns the tables on Huck and Pink by hiding 
in a barrel and nearly frightening the life out of them. 
Tubby, who thinks he can play the trombone, and Flapjack, 
a typical Irish boy, are well drawn character studies of 
active adolescence. 

Boy Scout songs, drills, stunts and teachings are empha- 
sized throughout the play. 



4 A COUNTRY BOY SCOUT 

SYNOPSIS FOR THE PROGRAM. 

Act I — The supply store at the coal mines. A persecuted 
Chinaman. Flapjack rescues h.is father's trousers after a 
terrible struggle. Ireland vs. China. The upright judge. 
"The principal reason why so many of our young men go 
wrong, is because that as boys they were neglected at the 
most critical time in their lives." The judge decides to give 
Huck a chance. Hungry Pinky. *T'se so hungry dat my 
stomach done thinks dat my throat's been cut." A rough- 
house baseball game in the grocery store. Laying for the 
Chinaman. Moe Skinsky, the Hebrew loan shark, gets a 
bath in a tub of vinegar. The Judge and Huck. "I'm going 
to be your friend, I'm going to make a Boy Scout of you, 
an honor to your town, to your country and to your God." 

Act II — Same scene. Boy Scouts in the making. The 
Scout laws. Pink and Huck are afraid of the ghost in the 
cellar. Wun Lung Loo hides in the barrel. "Dat old ghost 
done come up from the cellar, jumped right through dat 
barrel and lighted right on top of me." The missing twenty 
dollars. Huck is suspected of stealing the money. Flapjack 
disguises as a girl. Norman and the loan shark. Norman 
confesses to his father. Huck decides to set the skunk trap 
in the money drawer. In the darkness of the night. "Good- 
night, Mr. Nigger." Moe decides to rob the money drawer. 
"Lawsy, lawsy, it's a Jew ghost !" Caught in the trap. "I've 
got a skunk, that's all, and he's trapped, by jingo !" 

Act III — Same scene, several months later. Mr. McClos- 
key returns on a visit. Norman joins the Boy Scouts. 
"Some day they'll grow into honest, fearless men, then I'll 
know my work has not been in vain." Pinky's trouble with 
his two-hundred-and-fifty-pound wife. "I'se a bachelor 
now for de rest ob my days." Wun Lung and Pinky renew 
friendship. "Me velly good Chinaman now." The march 
of the Boy Scouts of America. Scout song. The mightiest 
army in the world. Circus drill and stunts. The Judge 
presents the patrol with an American flag. "I pledge alle- 
giance to my flag and to the republic for which it stands ; 



A COUNTRY BOY SCOUT 5 

one nation, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all." My 
country, 'tis of thee ! Happy ending. 



NOTES FOR THE MANAGER. 

This play may be presented in any hall or opera house. 
Only one scene, the interior of a country general store, is 
required. 

Only three adult characters are introduced in the play, 
Judge, Skinsky and Mr. McCloskey. Skinsky and McClos- 
key may be played by the same person. These adult char- 
acters may be taken by the larger boys if desired, but it is 
better to have men play these parts. 

In selecting the different boys to impersonate the charac- 
ters, it is best to have several "reading" rehearsals, at which 
each boy reads several parts. Sometimes the most retiring 
boy in the company makes the best mimic and can play the 
liveliest part. Let your first three or four rehearsals be 
mere "try-outs" and do not promise anyone a certain part 
until you are absolutely sure he is the best one for that part. 

At the fifth rehearsal every one should be letter perfect 
in Act I. This play may be successfully presented with 
about twelve rehearsals. Too many rehearsals make the 
boys sick of their parts. It is best to hurry the play along 
and make every one work hard while they are enthusiastic 
about it. Three weeks is time enough to put on any play. 

The tug-of-war scene, the baseball scene, the ghost in 
th.e barrel scene and the drills need thorough rehearsing. 



COSTUMES AND CHARACTERISTICS. 

Huckleberry — Rather slight boy with distinct dramatic 
ability required for this part. A bright, quick, active boy 
with a loud speaking voice and plenty of self-confidence. 
Tattered overalls, one leg torn oft' at knee. Large old shoes, 
no socks or stockings. Torn calico shirt. He wears a piece 
of a straw hat on first entrance. Change to grocer's apron 



6 A COUNTRY BOY SCOUT 

and cap. Neater costume in Act 11. In Act III he wears 
the regulation suit of a patrol leader of the Boy Scouts. 

Pinky — A lazy, no-count negro boy of about nineteen. 
Blacken face, neck and ears with burnt cork, first drawing a 
line in black about half an inch all around the mouth. Then 
moisten cork with water and wash entire face, neck and 
ears with it. Negro wig may be made by covering skull 
cap with black excelsior. Large shoes. Red and white 
striped socks. Trousers much too small for him. He may 
wear a torn, dilapidated coat originally made for a lady. 
Small red cap. In Act III, old overcoat or duster, battered 
hat. 

Judge — Aged about forty. Gray hair, mustache and short 
side whiskers, made from crepe hair combed out, shaped to 
the desired pattern and glued on face with fish glue. A 
little rouge on cheek bones. Use gray grease paint on eye- 
brows and draw wrinkles of same on forehead, between 
eyes, and from nose to corners of mouth. These wrinkles 
should be very light on a small stage. Neat gray or white 
suit and hat thrqughout the play. 

McCloskey — Aged fifty. Tall and thin. Sandy wig and 
whiskers protruding in front. Spectacles. Sallow jnake-up. 
Costume indicates a country store keeper, but without exag- 
geration. Derby hat. 

MoE — Padded very fat. Cut large nose from false face 
and glue it in position. Large spectacles. Linen duster. 
Derby hat pulled down over ears. He rubs his hands con- 
stantly as if giving them a dry wash. Bright vest. Flashy 
jewelry. Spats on shoes. Face pale, with straggling 
whiskers and mustache. Use very thin coating of crepe hair. 

Norman — Aged sixteen. Neat city clothes. Act III, 
Scout uniform. 

WuN Lung Loo — Chinese shoes or slippers. White socks. 
White or blue pajama suit. Paint face yellow with, slanting 
eyebrows of black. Yellow skull cap fitting close all over 
head. Long black queue of yarn. After cap is in position 
paint it with yellow grease paint to match the face. Study 



A COUNTRY BOY SCOUT 7 

the lines as written, word by word, and you will have no 
trouble with the dialect. Use many gestures and much 
action, jumping from place to place. 

Flapjack — Costumes similar to Huckleberry, except 
when disguised as a girl. Then he wears several underskirts 
and a calico dress, padded into shape with tissue paper. 
Striped stockings. Girl's shoes. Girl's wig made of switches 
and bangs, or simply a large hat with curls sewed in it, or 
a sunbonnet. Act III: Scout uniform. 

Boys — Similar to Huck's first suit. Act III : Scout uni- 
forms. Faces dirty in Act I. Very ragged clothes in Act I. 
Neater suits in Act II. 



PROPERTIES. 

Trombone or cornet for Tubby. 

Ledger on counter for Mr. McCloskey. 

Old overalls hidden under the blouse of Wun Lung. 

Broom back of counter. 

New pair of overalls back of counter. 

Satchel for Mr. McCloskey. 

Coin for Judge. 

Crackers and cheese back of counter. 

Signs reading, "Speshul this week — Pee-nut Butter and 

Hair Oil!" And "Yarn, Apruns, Straight Fronts and 

Other Goods for Ladies." For Buster. 
Tacks and hammer. 

Sign : "Sugared Tripe — Fourteen cents a yard." For Tubby. 
Sign: "Mixed-up Mincemeat, free from nails and hair." 

For Micky. 
Sign: "Hills Chopped Hay for Breakfast, 15 cts." For 

Squirmy. 
Sign: "Limberger — stronger than Jack Johnson." For 

Flapjack. 
Sign: "Eggs, 10 and 40 a duzzen, according to age." For 

Freckles. 
Sign : "Fresh Country Sassage, with or without." For 

Lengthy. 



8 A CotjNTRY BOY SCOUT 

Basket back of counter. 

Packages (empty) back of counter. Breakfast food, etc. 

Large piece of cheese, half wrapped up. 

Package of breakfast food, easily broken. 

Tub of water. 

Boxes and barrels. 

Large trick barrel with both, ends out. 

Candle. 

Two large lighted lamps. 

Two dark lanterns. 

Steel trap. 

Money drawer, with sack of money and roll of bills. 

Red and white stick candy. Paper bags. 

American flag on ropes with pulley. 

Staffs for the Boy Scouts. 



Scene Plot. 

HWIndowl 



I 1 Window I » 

-L f^^ D Q ^ 

Barrels 
I I Boxes Boxes [^ Q] 



Right Door // Counter i— J U-i Ooor Left 

' ' Barrels 



Note: — If there is no trap door in the stage, cut a hole in the 
counter and cover it over with paper. Then set the barrel on the 
counter and Wun can crawl down through the hole and hide under 
the counter. 

STAGE DIRECTIONS. 

R. means right of the stage; C, center; R. C, right cen- 
ter; L., left; R. D., right door; L. D., left door, etc.; 1 E., 
first entrance ; U. E., upper entrance ; R. 3 E., right entrance 
upstage, etc. ; D. F., door in flat or scene running across 
the back of the stage ; upstage, away from footlights, down 
stage, near footlights ; 1 G., first groove, etc. The actor is 
supposed to be facing the audience. 



A COUNTRY BOY SCOUT 



Act I. 



Scene: The interior of a general country store. Ordi- 
nary interior set used for the scene. Window at rear just 
high enough for a hoy to jump in and out. Entrances R. 
to rear of store and L. to street. A counter runs from R. 
corner near audience to up R. and half-zvay across rear of 
stage to tvindozv. This counter should he far enough from 
scene to allozv hoys to pass hehind readily. Back of the 
counter are shelves containing fake packages of breakfast 
food, tin cans, etc. These articles, zvith advertising signs, 
may he horrowed from some large grocery store, who are 
generally glad to advertise their goods in this way. Boxes 
and harrels all around stage. Brooms, etc. The entire set 
must give the audience the idea of a general store in the 
country. Signs on the ivalls. Soap ho.ves at R. and L. for 
seats. 

If no trap door is used and Wun descends through the 
counter, be sure the counter is stout enough to bear his 
zveight and the zveight of the trick barrel. 

Lights from front and at R. and L. These lights are to 
he lozvered as indicated in text. 

Before the curtain rises the discordant notes from 
Tubby's trombone or cornet are heard by the audience. He 
is trying to play the chorus of "Old Black Joe," or some 
similar old-time song, hut makes many discords and false 
notes. 

Curtain rises. Mr. McCloskey is discovered back of 
counter at R. zvorking on ledger. Tubby is seated dozvn L. 
playing his trombone. Micky is outside C. leaning on the 
open zvindozv. 

Tubby {as he finishes the chorus). Gee, that was hard 

9 



10 A COUNTRY BOY SCOUT 

work. But I get it better every time I play it. In two or 
three months I'll be a reg'lar bandmaster. 

Mr. M. If you keep that noise up for two or three 
months, we'll all be dead. 

Tubby. There's just one part I can't get. I dunno what 
that note is supposed to be. Listen. (Plays a nieasure.) 

Micky. I know what it is. 

Tubby. You do? Well, what is it? 

Micky. It's rotten. 

Tubby. Humph! You're just jealous. You can't appre- 
ciate good music. Listen to this. It's called The Angel's 
Dream. (Plays discord.) 

Micky. Angel's Dream? It sounds more like a night- 
mare. 

Mr. M. You'd better cut out that noise, Tubby. You're 
liable to disturb the boss. 

Tubby. Disturb him? Why, I'm serenading him. He's 
from the city and he can appreciate good music. He ought 
to give me some money to go to the city and study music. 
If I had a few lessons, I'd be a regular musical genius. 

Micky. How long's the boss going to be here, Mc- 
Closkey ? 

Mr. M. Oh, a couple of months. His boy's going to 
run this store. 

Micky. What are you goin' to do? 

Mr, M. I've been promoted, I have. I'm going to run 
the supply store up at Nanticoke. 

Tubby. Gee, I wish somebody would promote me. Here 
I am a breaker boy in the coal mines, working nights, at 
five dollars a week, when I orter be in the city studying 
music. Maybe I'd get in a big brass band and march in 
parades. I can almost play the chorus of the Star Spangled 
Banner now. Listen. (Plays a fezu bars.) 

Mr. M. Cut it out ! You're enough to wake the dead. 

Tubby. Nobody appreciates me here. You ain't got no 
ear fer good music. 

Mr. M. I ain't never heard no good music. 

(Loud noise and shouting heard outside L.) 



A COUNTRY BOY SCOUT 11 

Tubby (looks out L. at door). Gee, there's a scrap! The 
Chinaman's a running down the street. Look at him go! 
Look at h.im go ! 

Mr. M. (beside him, looking off L.). And who's that boy 
chasing him? 

Tubby. It's Flapjack. The chink is coming this way. 
Here, here ! Run in here, chink ! 

WuN Lung Loo rushes in from L. and comes down C. 

WuN Lung Loo. Save me ! Big boy killee poor China- 
man. Save me! (Falls at feet of Mr. M. doimi R.) 

Mr. M. What's the matter? What's all the row? 

WuN. Him no gotee tickee, no getee washee. No tickee, 
no washee. (Crouching at R.) 

Enter Flapjack from L., running in. 

Flapjack. Where is he? Where is he? Let me get at 
him! There he is. (Starts tozvard Wun. Tvbby pidls him 
back to L.) 

Mr. M. (at R. C). Here, here! What's going on here, 
anyway ? 

WuN, Save me. He no gotee tickee and he wantee 
washee. No tickee, no washee. 

Flap. Give me father's pants, ye villain. (Starts toward 

WuN.) 

Tubby. Sic him. Flapjack ! Sic him ! Thataboy ! 
Enter Micky from L. He comes down L. 

Mr. M. (protecting Wun). Here, here! We can't have 
any fighting today. The Judge is here in the house. 

Flap (half -crying) . Well, then you make him gimme 
father's pants. Me father's only got one pair, he has, and 
he's home in bed waitin' fer me to bring them back from 
the Chinaman's. Dad'U skin me alive if I don't get 'em. 
See (points to Wun), he's got 'em under his shirt. 

Wun. No gotee pants. No gotee pants. Me washee 
pants, me givee him tickee. He no got tickee, he no get 
pants. Sabe? 

Flap. You have got the pants, ye lyin', thievin' vaga- 



12 A COUNTRY BOY SCOUT 

bond. (Jumps after him. Wun runs all around stage, 
pursued by Flap.) 

Wun. No gotee pants ! No gotee pants ! Help ! Help ! 

Tubby, The pursuit of China by Ireland. Hurroo! 

Micky. Jump on him, Flap. Punch him into sausage 
meat. (Wun and Flap fall at C, struggling and rolling 
over and over.) 

Mr. M. {gets broom and hits Flap ivith flat end of 
broom). Let him alone. Let him alone. 

Flap. I gotta get me father's pants. {On top of Wun.) 

Wun. No gotee pants. Gotee shirt, gotee socks, but no 
gotee pants. 

Flap {drazmng pair of oz'eralts from under Wun's 
blouse). Ye thievin' heathen, there they are. They're me 
father's pants. 

Mr. M. (pidling Flap to R.). Ain't you ashamed of 
yourself? To fight with a poor, innocent Chinese heathen. 

Flap. Ld be more ashamed if me father had to walk 
around without any pants at all. 

Tubby {pulls Wun over to L.). Keep still, ye heathen, 
or I'll put ye in my trombone and play Chinese music for 
a month. 

Wun. No gotee tickee. No tickee, no washee. 

Mr. M. Now, what's all this disturbance about? 

Wun. I washee pants. I givee tickee. All this was 
day beflore yes'day. Today he no got tickee. I say, no got 
tickee, no get washee. 

Flap. I lost the ticket, so I did. I lost it in swimming. 

Mr. M. {to Wun). Do these overalls belong to this 
boy? 

Wun. Maybe. I dunno. He no got tickee. 

Flap. Sure, they belong to me father. And they're the 
only ones he's got at all, at all. 

Mr. M. Have you paid him for washing them? 

Flap. I have not. Here's yer dime, Ching Ching Choo. 

Wun. Me no Ching Ching Choo. Me Wun Lung Loo. 

Mr. M. Wun, take the money. {He does so.) That's 
right. Now, Flapjack, the overalls belong to you. 



A COUNTRY BOY SCOUT 13 

Flap. Indade they do not, sor ; they belong to me 
father. Sure it's the only pair he's got to his back. 

Mr. M. Well, hurry up and take them to him. Maybe 
he's needing them. But before you go, I want you to shake 
hands with Wun Lung and be friends. 

Flap. I'll shake hands with no heathen rat-eater, I 
won't. 

Mr. M. Very well, then, you can't have the overalls. 

Flap. And wh.at'll me father do then? 

Mr. M. He'll have to do without, unless you shake 
hands with Wun Lung. 

Flap. Well, I don't want to do it, but I will sooner than 
have me father without any pants at all, at all. (Offers 
hand to Wun.) 

Wun (shakes hand). All light. 

(As Wun stands facing Flap, Micky kneels behind Wun 
and Flap pushes Wun over Micky. Wun falls to L., hut 
as he falls he grabs the overalls from Flap's arms.) 

Flap (trying to pidl the overalls from Wun). Gimme 
me father's pants. 

Wun. No getee pants, no getee pants. (Rises, but still 
holds one leg of the overalls.) 

Flap (holding the other leg). Gimme a hand here, boys. 
(Micky puts his arms around Flap's waist, Tubby then 
puts his arms around Micky's waist. They pull, dragging 
Wun around the stage. Finally Mr. M, puts his arms 
around Wun's waist, thus forming a tug of zvar. At a 
giiren signal the overalls tear in tzvo and all fall to the 
floor.) 

Flap. Now look at me father's pants. (Waves one 

leff.) 

Wun. Old man makee you sick. He lick the lining out 
of you. 

Flap (jumps on Wun and throzvs him down). Gimme 
that other leg. (They roll over and over.) 

Enter Judge Tolliver from R. 



14 A COUNTRY BOY SCOUT 

Judge. Hello, what's going on in here? A relay race or 
a wrestling match? 

All. The boss! (All rise.) 

Judge. What was the trouble, boys? 

WuN. He no gotee tickee and wantee wash.ee. He pull 
me, he kick me, he make me tear pants, h.e makee much 
trouble for poor Chinee. 

Flap. Aw, Judge, it ain't so. Me father only had one 
pair of pants, so he did — and now look what's left of 'em. 
Now, begorry, he's only got half a pair. 

Judge. Well, well, we can't have your father going 
around town in half a pair of pants. Mr. McCloskey, give 
this young man a new pair of overalls for his father. 

Flap (astonished). A new pair? Do you mean it, boss? 

Judge. Certainly. 

Flap. And you're goin' to give 'em to me? 

Judge. That's what I intended to do, but of course, if 
you'd rather pay for them — 

Flap. No, thanks ; I'd rather have you give 'em to me. 
And I'm much obliged, your honor, and sure it's a fine gin- 
tleman you are. (Takes netv pair of overalls from Mr. M.) 
And as fer you, Ching Ching Choo (stands behind Wun), 
here's a present wid me compliments. (Throzvs old torn 
overalls around Wun's neck, nearly strangling him.) 

Micky. Come on, Flapjack. (Runs out L.) 

Flap. In a minute. Good-bye, Judge, and I'm much 
obliged. (Exits L.) 

Tubby (goes to Judge and shakes hands zmth him). 
Judge, you're a gentleman, so you are. I'll come back pretty 
soon and give you a serenade on my trombone, and I won't 
charge you a cent. (Exit L., playing a few bars on the 
trombone.) 

Judge (comvng to Wun and helping him arrange the 
torn overalls). And now, my lad, they treated you pretty 
badly, didn't they? 

Wun. Everybody treatee poor Chinee badly. No gotee 
father, no gotee mother, no gotee brother, no gotee friend, 
no gotee nothing. 



A COUNTRY BOY SCOUT 15 

Judge (shaking hands with him). Don't say that, my 
boy. I'll Idc your friend. 

WuN. You be friend to poor Wun Lung Loo? You 
velly good man, velly, velly good man. 

Judge. Here's a little present for you, Wun Lung Loo. 
{Offers half dollar.) 

Wun. Judgee give me half dollar? No! Wun Lung 
Loo no takee money from his friend. All light, Judge, me 
no takee money, but maybe some day I show you that Wun 
Lung Loo can be good friend, too. Sabe? You velly good 
friend ; some day Wun Lung Loo he be velly good friend, 
too. {Exit L.) 

Judge. There, I've done a good stroke of work this 
morning. 

Mr. M. {behind counter at R.). You have? What did 
you do ? Make three or four thousand dollars ? 

Judge. No, I made a friend, and a good friend is worth 
all the money in the world. 

Mr. M. But he's only a Chinaman. 

Judge. That makes no difference ; he's a man, and I 
believe he was grateful for what I did for him. 

Mr. M. Them boys just about pester the life out of 
him. We've got a tough set of boys here at the coal mines. 

Judge. Those three that were in here didn't look tough. 
They only looked like good, healthy, red-blooded boys. 

Mr. M. They're just about the worst in the lot. They 
and their leader. 

Judge. Who is their leader? 

Mr. M. a little runt called Huckleberry. Nobody knows 
what his other name is. He used to be in the county poor 
house. He's little, all right, but tough! {Whistles.) He's 
the worst kid in the county, and I reckon you ain't got many 
up in the city as bad as he is. 

Judge. What does he do? 

Mr. M. Oh, he does everything he hadn't ought to. 
Robs chicken roosts, goes fishin' on Sunday, gets the breaker 
boys to run away from the mines, steals apples from the 
farmers, and once he like to set the meeting-house at Ridge- 



16 A COUNTRY BOY SCOUT 

ville on fire. He's been in the poor house and the county 
farm and twice in the county jail, and he ain't no bigger 
than that. (Motions Huck's height.) 

Judge. Maybe he isn't a bad boy at all, maybe he's just 
got a wrong start. That's the thing that makes bad men, 
McCloskey, getting a wrong start. We ought to start a Boy 
Scout patrol here at the mines. 

Mr. M. That would be all right for city boys, but you 
don't realize what a bunch, of rowdies we have to put up 
with down here. 

Judge. I think I'll see if I can't form some sort of a 
scout organization. The principal reason why so many of 
our men, especially our young men, go wrong, is because 
that as boys they were neglected at the most critical time 
in their lives, the period from thirteen to twenty years of 
age. The boy at that age must have physical exercise, 
something to curb his energies. He can be saved by giving 
him plenty to do of the things he likes to do, athletics, car- 
pentry, outdoor sports and games, camping and nature 
study. 

Mr. M. If you're going to try anything like that with 
the boys here at the coal mines, you're going to have your 
hands full. 

Judge. Maybe I owe it to them. They work in my 
mines. I have made most of my money from their work 
and their fathers' work. It is my duty to do something for 
them if I can. 

Mr. M. Well, look out that they don't burn the house 
over your head. 

Judge. I expect to be down here for three or four 
months, while you are transferred to the supply depart- 
ment at Nanticoke. The real reason for this is that I want 
my boy Norman to run the supply store here. City life 
offers too many temptations to a boy like Norman, so I've 
decided to see what he can do here as storekeeper. 

Mr. M. Well, it's a promotion fer me, so I ain't kick- 
ing none ; but you and your boy certainly are going to have 
your hands full. I've got everything all ready, Judge, and 



A COUNTRY BOY SCOUT 17 

I can get away on the evening train. It leaves in about 
twenty minutes. 

Judge. I'm sure- you'll like it up in Nanticoke. My boy 
Norman ought to be in on that train. 

Mr. M. I ain't seen him since he was a little baby. He 
was born here at the mines, wasn't he? 

Judge. Yes, Norman was born here. 

Mr. M. How do you reckon he'll like it here. Keeping 
this supply store ain't no cinch. 

Judge. He's got to like it. I'm afraid I've been too in- 
dulgent with Norman since his mother died. He's sown 
quite a crop of wild oats in the city, so I thought I'd see 
what I could do with him down here. 

Mr. M. We don't have much trouble. Once in a while 
the miners get into a scrape, and the kids are awful tough, 
but we don't have much real trouble. There's only one real 
bad man in town, Gypsy Jake. Maybe you remember him. 

Judge. Yes, I remember him. His wife was Martha 
Enlow, wasn't she? 

Mr. M. Yes, that's right. He broke her heart when he 
was sent to the penitentiary fifteen years ago. She lived 
only a short time after he was sent up. 

Judge. She used to work for my wife. She was Nor- 
man's nurse. So, Gypsy Jake is out of prison? 

Mr. M. Yes, he's been hanging around here for about 
two months. He's the most troublesome man in town. A 
natural born loafer and crook. The kid Huckleberry stays 
with him. Birds of a feather, you know. 

Judge. That's bad. He's evidently not content with 
ruining his own life, but now he's trying to ruin a young 
boy. Has he any legal claim on the boy? 

Mr. M. Yes, he's his boy, I reckon ; like father, like son. 

Judge. And he's the bad boy you spoke about as the 
leader of the gang here at the mines? 

Mr. M. He's the one — the worst kid in the county. 

Judge. I'd like to see him — I'd like to give him a chance. 
His mother, Martha Enlow, was a good woman and my 



18 A COUNTRY BOY SCOUT 

wife's trusted servant. For her sake I think I'll give her 
boy a chance. What is his name? 

Mr. M. He ain't ever had any name but Huckleberry. 
His mother died when he was a baby, and his father was 
in prison. He was brought up at the poor house. 

Judge. Poor little kid — no wonder you call him the 
worst boy in the county. It's environment, McCloskey. 
Environment either makes or breaks a boy. 

{"Hurry" music, eight bars. Great noise and racket 
heard off L. Shouts, etc.) 

Judge. What on earth is that? 

Mr. M. Bet five cents it's Huckleberry. He's always up 
to something. That boy is at th.e bottom of everything bad 
that happens in this town. {Looks out of ivindozv.) Right 
now he appears to be at the bottom of the well. 

Judge. Has he fallen in the well? {Looks out of the 
window. ) 

Mr. M. No such. luck. He's around at the door. 

Enter Huckleberry from L. and sees Mr. M., who is 
standing down C. 

Huckleberry {pulls Mr. M.'s whiskers). Hello, Rube, 
how's crops? {Sees Judge, ivho is dozvn right, Huck zvilts 
and makes funny exit at L.) Good night! 

Huck. knocks on door at L. 

Mr. M. Crazy as a bat. Come in, come in, you triflin' 
critter. 

Enter Huck. from L. 

Mr. M. Come here. (Huck takes one slide tozvard 
him.) Come here. (Huck takes another slide.) Here! 
(Huck slides to him.) Now what was you a-doin' out 
there ? 

Huck {whispers to him). Drinkin'. 

Mr. M. What? 

Huck {whispers) . Drinkin'. 

Mr. M. Louder. 

Huck {yells). Drinkin'! 



A COUNTRY BOY SCOUT 19 

Mr. M. You must be a hard drinker. Did you swaller 
the well bucket ? 

HucK. Nope, I went to drink out'n the well bucket, and 
the rope flew off and the handle flew round, and the bucket 
flew down, down, clean down to the bottom ker-ch.ug. 

Mr. M. Well, what do you want here? 

HucK, Kinder thought I might swipe a piece of pie. 
You ain't got none to give away today, have you? I'd also 
like a glass of milk. I'm too bashful to ask fer water. 

Mr. M. You get out. We ain't giving away the com- 
pany's supplies today. When we start that, I'll let you 
know. Now, clear out. 

HucK. Please, boss, I'm hungry. I'm so hungry I could 
eat a bakery, oven and all. 

Mr. M. Clear out. We're busy. 

Judge (coming to R. C). Just a minute, Mr. McCloskey. 
You have the train to catch in a few minutes. You go and 
get ready while I talk to this lad. 

Mr. M. Well, don't forget what I told you about him. 
He's a bad egg. (Exits R.) 

Judge. Mr. McCloskey tells me you're from the poor 
house. 

HucK. Dat's right, boss. I lived in parlor B on de 
ground floor. 

Judge. Why didn't they find you a good position with 
some respectable farmer? 

HucK. They did. When I left the poor house I thought 
I was straight on the road to glory, but when I got onto 
me job I found I'd got mixed up in the roads, for instead 
of going to glory I was headed straight to — (points down). 

Judge (quickly interrupts). Never mind. Didn't the 
farmer treat you well ? 

HucK. Made me work twelve hours a day, made me 
sleep in the barn with the mules, made me work harder'n 
any man on the place. Made me get up at four o'clock in 
the morning and split wood. Made me eat poor house soup. 
You know what poor house soup is, mister? Quart of warm 
water an' a piece of potato. Now I'm livin' with me dad. 



20 A COUNTRY BOY SCOUT 

Judge. With Gypsy Jake, eh? 

HucK. Yep. It ain't no palace, mister, and Gypsy Jake 
ain't no guardeen angel ; but it's home. Jake's been out of 
jail over two months now. 

Judge. How would you like to go to work? 

HucK. Jake says it ain't respectable to work. What's 
the use of work when you can make a good livin' without it? 

Judge. But you want to save up for a rainy day, don't 
you? 

HucK. Naw, I got an umbrella, I have. 

Judge. Now, my lad, I've taken quite a fancy to you. 

HucK. You have? What for? 

Judge. I've decided to see if I can make a good, honest 
man of you. 

HucK. I'll h.ave to grow seven or eight years yet. 

Judge. How would you like to work here in the supply 
store? 

HucK. Me? W^ork here? Say, boss, you're kidding me, 
ain't you? 

Judge. No. I'm willing to start you in at five dollars a 
week. 

HucK. Five dollars a week. Gee, in a month I'll be a 
reg'lar millionaire. 

Judge. Do you think you'd like the job? 

HucK. I'd like any job on earth for five dollars a week. 
I'm goin' to buy me a Ford automobile and a couple of 
diamond rings. 

Judge. Your work will be easy. My son Norman is 
going to manage the store. He's just about your age and 
I think you two will get along all right together. 

HucK. I'll bet a nickel I can lick hirn. 

Judge. I hardly think that will be necessary. Remem- 
ber, he is to be your boss. 

HucK. Are you really going to give me a chance? No- 
body never gave me no chance before. 

Judge. Certainly, Huck, I'll give you a chance. I used 
to know your mother. For her sake, I'll give you a chance. 



A COUNTRY BOY SCOUT 21 

HucK (shakes hands with him). Thank ye, boss; thank 
ye. 

Judge. Now go in there and put on a grocery apron and 
get to work. You're the assistant manager of the supply 
store now. 

HucK. Say, boss, when you going to give me the five 
dollars ? 

Judge. One week from tonight. 

HucK. Gee, I gotta go and tell the gang. They'll think 
I'm a reg'lar millionaire with five whole dollars every week. 

Judge. How many are in your gang, Huck? 

HucK. Oh, seven or eight kids. We jest kind o' run 
together. 

Judge. I wonder how you and your gang would like to 
become Boy Scouts ? 

Huck. We'd rather be pirates, or hold-up men. Flap- 
jack says he'd like to rob a bank, but that's awful danger- 
ous. His dad never was sent to the penitentiary like mine 
was, so he don't know what he's talking about. It ain't 
no cinch to get sent up for three or four years. 

Judge. I'd like to meet your gang. 

Huck. Oh, you'll meet 'em all right. We've got a swell 
gang, we have. There's Flapjack, whose dad works in the 
mines, and Tubby Timmons, who can play on a trombone 
jest as natural as life, and Squirmy Bean, who can swim 
with six dififerent strokes, and Micky Malone, who's the 
best boy hunter in this neck of the woods — he kin shoot 
anything, and old Buster Brown, who's got an eddication. 
Buster can read books, and not only books and printed 
writin', but letters and all kinds of written writin'. And 
then there's Pinky — he's a coon. Pinky is, but he's all right, 
even if his skin is black. We got a swell gang. 

Enter Mr. M. from R. with satchel. 

Mr. M. I'm all ready. The train is due here in about 
five minutes. 

Judge. I'll walk over to the station with you. 
Mr. M. Who's going to watch the store ? 



22 A COUNTRY BOY SCOUT 

Judge. I've just hired a boy. Huck is to be the new 
clerk. 

Mr. M. Huck? 

Judge. Yes, sir. 

Huck. Yep. I'm th.e guy. Goin' to git five dollars a 
week. 

Mr. M. Well, look out that he don't set the house afire. 

Judge. Huck, I'm going to walk over to the station with 
Mr. McCloskey. You can open that barrel while I'm gone. 
(Points to barrel.) And if anyone wants anything tell them 
to come in this afternoon. I can trust you, can't I ? (Offers 
his hand.) 

Huck (shakes hands zvith him). Bet your life.. 

Judge. Then come along, Mr. McCloskey, we've just 
got time to catch the train. (They go out at L.) 

Huck (sings and dances around the stage). Five dollars 
a week and me the boss of the supply store. What'll the 
gang say? Five dollars a week. Hurray, hurray! (Sud- 
denly serious.) What'll the old man say? I'll bet a nickel 
he'll steal my five dollars. No, he won't! I'm going to 
bury it in the ground down by the spring, and save up 
enough to git me a Ford automobile. Five dollars a week ! 
Hurray, hurray! 

Pinky looks in at the zvindow. 

Pinky. Hello, Huck. 

Huck. Hello, Pink. Come on in. 

Enter Pinky and Buster from L. 

Buster (doivn L.). Come on, Huck, let's go a-fishin'. 

Huck (dozvn R.). I can't do it, son; this is my busy 
day. I'm a man of business now. 

Pinky (down C). Better had come, Huck. De bull- 
heads is bitin' mighty splendiferous, dey sure am. 

Huck. I'd like to go, but who'd take care of my store? 

Buster. Your store? Where's your store? 

Huck. This is my store. I'm the boss here. 

Pinky. Go 'long, boy, you're sick with de heat. 



A COUNTRY BOY SCOUT 23 

HucK. I ain't neither. It's the truth. The boss hired 
me this morning, and I'm going to get five dollars a week. 

Buster (astonished). Five dollars a week? 

Pinky (very much astonished). Well, shoot me down 
dead with a bowie knife. Is you, sure enough? 

HucK. Sure enough. Five big round dollars every week. 

Pinky. Lawd sakes ! I didn't know dere was dat much 
money in de world. 

HuCK. Mr. McCloskey has been moved up to Nanticoke 
and the boss's son is going to run the store, and I'm to be 
his chief cook and bottle washer, and I get five dollars a 
week. 

Pinky. Say, Huck, can't you gimme a job here. I can 
clean de windows, and scrub de floors. I'm a good boy for 
work, I am. 

Huck. You'll have to see the boss. Say, wait till I go 
and get my grocery apron on, and I'll show you what a 
real, live grocery boy looks like. (Exits R.) 

Pinky. Well, you kin shoot me down dead with a bowie 
knife. I'd never a thunk it; never. 

Buster. Say, Pink, I'm going to paint some signs for 
the grocery store. Of course we want to "help Huck make 
a lot of money, don't we? 

Pinky. Sure, we does. 

Buster. Then I'll paint him some dandy signs that he 
can hang up here in the store. I'll be back pretty soon. 
(E.vit L.) 

Pinky. Old Huckleberry gwine to get five dollars a 
week. Well, you kin shoot me down dead with a bowie 
knife^ you sure kin. 

Enter Huck, zvearing an apron and cap. He stands hack 
of counter at R. 

Huck. Well, Mr. Pinky Pinfeathers, what can I serve 
you today? 

Pinky. You kin serve me to anything dat you is giving 
away, free for nothing, with no cost. Dat's what you kin 
serve me. 



24 A COUNTRY BOY SCOUT 

HucK. How'd you like some crackers and cheese? 

Pinky. Boy, boy, I'd ruther hab some good old crackers 
and cheese dan I would a golden harp and a pair ob angel 
wings. You jest naturally reads my thoughts. 

HucK. Hungry, are you? 

Pinky. Huck, I'se so hungry dat my stomach done 
thinks my throat has been cut. I ain't had nuthin' to eat 
since — {paiise) since de last time. 

Huck {gives him some crackers and cheese). Have a 
little treat on the new clerk. 

Pinky {eating). Much obliged, boss. {Trying to talk 
zvith his mouth very full.) V\\ do the same thing for you 
some day. 

Huck. There's only one thing Fve got against this job, 
Pinky. 

Pinky. What's dat? 

Huck {comes to him, takes him by arm and leads him 
zvith long steps down to L., looks all around mysteriously, 
puts finger oh lips and says) Sh ! 

Pinky {frightened). What's a matter? What are you 
shissing for? 

Huck {leads Pinky with long steps to R., looks around 
mysteriously, places finger on lips). Sh! 

Pinky {nervously) . Dat makes two shisses. 

Huck. I believe this place is haunted. Pinky. 

Pinky {with his knees trembling). Haunted? Go way, 
Huck ; dere ain't no hants 'round yere. 

Huck. I went down cellar to get this apron and away 
over in one corner of the cellar is a big black hole. Great, 
big, deep, black hole! 

Pinky {trembling). Oh, lawsy, lawsy! 

Huck. I didn't have no light, and just as I was coming 
up the stairs I looked over toward that big, black hole and 
I heard something go Ooo! {Faint groan.) Just that way. 

Pinky. Dat's de way dey does. Dat's de way dey allers 
does. And nen did it go "Woof, woof!" jes' datway? 

Huck. I never waited to hear no Woof, woof ! When 



A COUNTRY BOY SCOUT 25 

I heard the Ooo, I jumped up seven steps at a time. Do 
they have hants down in cellars, Pinky ? 

Pinky. Do dey? Do dcy? De cellar is de mostest pro- 
miscous place dat a ghost kin be. Did you see him, Huck? 

HucK. I don't know. I saw something kind o' wiggle. 

Pink {excitedly) . Dat's it, dat's it, de worstest kind ob 
a ghost always wiggles. Boy, I'm gwine home while de 
goin' is good. 

Huck. Oh, he can't come up here. See, the trap is 
closed. (Points to trap.) 

Pinky. Is it closed tight? 

Huck. I'll put this barrel on top of it. A ghost couldn't 
get up through the barrel, could it? 

Pinky (dubiously). I dunno. Dey ain't no tellin' what 
a ghost kin do when he makes up his mind. 

Enter Buster from L. carrying tzvo signs reading 
"Speshul this Week — Pee-nut Butter and Hair Oil!" And 
'^Yarn, Apruns, Straight Fronts and Other Goods for La- 
dies." The audience must not see these signs until they are 
tacked in place. 

Huck. What you got, Buster? 

Buster. Couple of signs to help advertise your business. 
The gang is making some more. We're going to boost the 
supply store and help you sell everything in stock. (Tacks 
up the signs, assisted by Pinky.) 

Huck. That's right. When a feller gets five dollars a 
week, he ought to earn it. 

Enter Tubby and Micky from L. 

Tubby (takes up a sign at rear reading, "Sugared Tripe 
— fourteen cents a yard"). I guess I've got the best sign 
of all. Huck, you're going to be swamped with customers. 

Micky (tacks up sign reading, "Mixed-up Mincemeat, 
free from nails and hair"). Business is going to boom, 
Huck. The gang is all going to stand right by you. 

Enter Squirmy and Flapjack from L. with signs. 
Squirmy. Where do you want me to hang this ? (Shows 
sign, "Hill's Chopped Hay for Breakfast, 15 cts.") 



26 A COUNTRY BOY SCOUT 

HucK. Put it down here. (Indicates a counter facing 
audience.) 

Flap. I got a good one. (Shozvs sign reading, "Lirn- 
herger — stronger than Jack Johnson.") I'll put it here. 
{Tacks it up.) 

Two other boys with signs, "Eggs 10 ai^d 40 a duzzen, 
ace or din' to age" — and "Fresh Country Sassage, With or 
zvithont!" They are greeted by Huck and their signs dis- 
played. 

Pinky (after all signs are in place). Dat's fine. Now 
this looks something like a first-class supply store. (All 
loaf around stage.) 

Squirmy (lying on floor zvith legs upright against coun- 
ter). All we got to get now is some customers. 

Flap (sitting cross-legged on the counter). Pll swipe a 
dinner bell and me father's red flannel undershirt and stand 
out in front and holler auction. That's the way they do in 
the city. 

Pinky (seated on box doivn L.). Yes, and den hab de 
boss come in and fire us all. And besides (lowers voice 
mysteriously) , ghostesses don't hanker after no dinner bells 
in de daytime ! 

All (frightened). Ghostesses? 

Pinky. Yas, sah ; yas, indeedy. We's got a ghost, we 
has. Great big one 'bout leven million miles high, wif a 
long tail, and fire comes a snortin' out'n its nose. It libs 
down cellar. Huck' done seen it. 

All. Did you sure-enough, Huck? 

Huck. Sure, I did. And it had great big yellow wings 
and it groaned all the time. 

Flap. How could a ghost leven million miles high be 
down in your little old cellar? 

Pinky (imitates). It jes' scrooges down and scrooges 
down, till dey ain't nuffin left ob it 'cept de smell. 

Tubby. What does a ghost smell like. Pink? 

Pinky. Sorter peculiar. Sometimes like brimstone and 
sometimes like sulphur, but mos' generally like blood. 



A COUNTRY BOY SCOUT 27 

HucK. But he can't get up here. We got that barrel 
settin' on the trap. 

Squirmy. I beheve you're fuh of beans. I'll bet there 
ain't no such thing as a ghost. 

Pinky {apprehensively). Talk low, boy, talk low. 
Ghostesses has got sensible feelings jest de same as people, 
and if you gets one mad at you, good night! 

Micky {at tmidow) . Here comes a man down the street. 
Maybe it's a customer. 

HucK {runs behind counter). I'm all ready for him. 
Don't crowd around fellers. Jest act natural-like and easy. 

Micky {looking out of znnndozv). No, he went on by. 

HucK. Tubby, take your horn out in front and give 'em 
a selection. That had ought to draw customers. 

Tubby. All right. I'll play "Nearer, my God to Thee." 
That's the only selection that I know clear through. {Exits 

Squirmy. Say, the day-shift kids has challenged us to 
a baseball game on the Fourth of July. 

Pinky. De day-shift kids? What do dem little Lizzie 
boys know about baseball ? 

Micky. Oh, we won't do a thing to the day-shift kids. 
I'm goin' to pitch. 

HucK. Nothin' doin'. You pitched last time — and see 
what they done to us. I'm goin' to pitch meself. 

Flap. Sure, I'm goin' to pitch. When I throws me spit 
ball, there ain't no one can stop it. You orter see me pitch 
when I used to live in the city. (Tubby starts to play on 
trombone ontside.) 

HucK. That's right. Tubby. Give it to 'em strong. {At 
U'indozv. ) 

Pinky. Dat boy sure enough has got a musical dispo- 
sition. He can make more noise dan any musical man I 
eber met. 

Tubby {sticks Jiis head in at zvindozv). Here comes a 
customer. Get ready. 

HucK {hurries behind counter). Tell him to come right 
in. 



28 A COUNTRY BOY SCOUT 

Tubby. Go right in. You won't? Then I'll push you in. 
Enter Tubby from L., dragging in Wun Lung Loo. 

WuN {goes to ivindozv). All light. Me pay you next 

Flap (pulls him doivn to counter). Begorry, you'll come 
in whether you wantee or not. 

Wun. No wantee come. You all velly bad boys. 

Buster (pulling Wun to his sign). See here, Chink. 
(Points to sign.) Speshul this week peanut butter and hair 
oil. That's just what you want to buy. 

Wun (trying to pull azvay). No wantee buy peanut 
butter. No eatee peanut butter — no drinkee hair oil. 

Buster. Then look at this one. Yarns, aprons, straight 
fronts and other goods for ladies. 

Wun. No wantee no straight front. No gotee no lady. 

Micky (grabs him and drags him to other side of stage). 
The first thing you want is a basket. Huck, give him a 
basket. 

Wun (protesting). No wantee basket. 

Micky (hangs basket on his arm). There you are. A 
fine market basket, just the right size for a Chinaman. Now 
you want some Mixed-up Mincemeat free from nails and 
hairs. Huck, gimme about three packages of that mince- 
meat. (Throzvs it in Wun''s basket.) 

Squirmy (grabs Wun and pulls him to other side). 
Look at this. Some nice fresh breakfast food. Hill's 
Chopped Hay for Breakfast, fifteen cents. Gimme about 
two packages, Huck. There you are, Wun Lung Loo. 
That'll make you fat and greasy. 

Flap (grabbing Wun). Sure and yez also want some 
nice strong limburger cheese. All our Chinese customers 
buy limburger cheese. About twenty cents worth, Huck. 

Wun (taking limburger, turns head aufay from it, holds 
nose). Say, this cheese is no good; this cheese heap much 
sick. 

Flap. Sick? Begorry, that cheese is dead. 

Squirmy (puts packages in Wun's basket). And here's 
some eggs and some fresh, country sassage. 

Buster. And here's a couple of bottles of peanut butter. 



A COUNTRY BOY SCOUT 29, 

(WuN is nozv z'cry agreeable and runs about to each, smil- 
ing and holding his basket for contributions.) 

WuN. Me likee potatoes. Heap muchee potatoes. 

HucK (puts potatoes in basket). There you are, Wun. 
The bill is five dollars. 

Wun (pauses at C). Five dollars? (All zvatch liini 
breathlessly.) 

HucK. xA.nd forty-eight cents. 

Wun (goes to ivindozv). All light. Me pay you next 
Christmas. (Jumps through ivindow and runs out.) 

HucK. Well, what do you know about that? (All run 
to zvindow.) 

Flap. Tubby is chasing him down the street. He'll bring 
him back and make him pay. (All resume former atti- 
tudes.) 

HucK. He was goin' to pay anyhow. He was just try- 
ing to be cute. 

Pinky. Say, we orter go out and practice for dat base- 
ball game dis afternoon. 

Flap. Let's go over to Johnson's lot. 

HucK. I can't go. I've got to stay here at the store. 
And besides it's getting dark. 

Flap. Aw, lock up the old store. 

HucK. Nothing doing. I've got to earn that five dollars 
a week. 

Micky. I think I orter be the pitcher. 

Flap. Micky, you know you can't throw spit balls like 
me. (Takes package of breakfast food.) I just double up 
me fist, like that (imitates), and ofif she goes like that! 
(Throzvs package across stage.) 

HucK. Huh! I can do as good as that. (Doubles up 
like a baseball pitcher, szvings arm around head, then throzvs 
package across stage.) 

Micky. Now watch me. (He doubles up, etc., and 
throzvs package to L., hitting Tubby, zvho is entering L.) 

Enter Tubby. 
Tubby (falling). Help! Murder! What's the matter? 
Micky. I was just throwing me famous pitch ; that's all. 



30 A COUNTRY BOY SCOUT 

HucK. Where's the Chinaman? 

Tubby. The Chinaman? 

HucK. Yes. Weren't you chasing him down the street? 

Tubby. Yes ; but he got away. But he yelled out that 
he was coming back after dark. 

All. Coming back after dark? 

Squirmy. What for? 

Tubby. I dunno. Maybe he wants to complain to the 
boss. 

Flap. Maybe he wants to rob the store. 

HuCK. I'll tell you what we'll do. We'll hide around 
here and give him a hot time in the old town tonight. 
There's a big tub full of vinegar there in that room. (Points 
to R.) Let's get it out, and when the Chinaman comes, we'll 
pickle him in vinegar. 

Micky. Won't it hurt him? 

Flap. What's the difference. He'll be a Chinese cu- 
cumber. 

Micky. But won't it hurt the vinegar? 

HucK. Hurt it? No; it'll just give it a little Chinese 
flavoring; that's all. Tubby, you go down there and stand 
by the street corner, and when the Chinaman passes you, 
blow on your trombone. We'll do the rest. Won't we, 
fellers. 

All (grasping each other's hands, forming a ring and 
capering around, singing') 

Oh, we won't do a thing to Wun Lung, 
We won't do a thing to Wun Lung, 
We won't do a thing to Wun Lung — 
We'll throw him in the tub. 

HuCK. Hurry up. Tubby, and don't forget to blow on 
the trombone when you see him coming. 

Tubby. All right. I'll make yer hear me all right. 
(Exits L.) 

Pinky. Now about dis yer baseball ; if I'se gwine to be 
captain, I hereby and hereon appoints Mr. Flapjack 
O'Shaugnessy as de pitcher, and Mr. Micky Malone as de 



A COUNTRY BOY SCOUT 31 

catcher. Here, take your places here. I'll be de yumpire. 
Buster Brown at bat. {They form for a game of baseball.) 

Flap. Where's me ball ? 

HucK {tosses him three packages of breakfast food). 
Here's yer ball. 

Micky. Let's have a reg'lar game. Get on the bases, 
fellers. 

Buster. Where's my bat? 

HucK {tosses him a broom). Here's your bat. {Lively 
music.) 

Flap. All ready. {Throzvs box zinth much exertion. 
Buster strikes but misses it.) 

Pinky. Stri-i-ike one! 

(Flap throws a second box. Buster hits it mifh a broom, 
breaking it and spilling breakfast food. Note: This box" 
must be arranged to be easily broken. All boys fall at C, 
scrambling for the breakfast food.) 

Pinky. Play ball, play ball. What you all think this is ? 
A free lunch? {They resume former positions. Bustes 
makes a strike. The boys on the bases run around. Much 
noise and confusion. Pinky grabs the box and starts to 
eat. All scramble for the breakfast food, rolling all around 
the floor. The counter and shelves are knocked over in 
the excitement. This business should be fast and furious, 
interspersed with yells, etc. Finally Tubby is heard blow- 
ing on trombone out L. All get up and listen. Music ends.) 

Huck. It's the Chinaman, fellers. Come on and get the 
tub. (Pinky, Flap and Squirmy go out R. and come in 
bearing large tub full of zvafer.) 

Buster. Sh ! Sh ! Don't make a noise. He'll think we've 
all gone home. 

Huck. I'll turn down the light. {He does so.) 

Pinky. Say, dat there Chinaman will think dat de 
world's done come to an end at last. 

Huck. Sh! Don't make any noise. If he thinks we are 
here, he won't come in. 

Buster. Let's put the tub here in front of the door, 
then he'll fall in it. 



32 A COUNTRY BOY SCOUT 

Flap. But he won't fall hard enough. Pinky, you and 
me's goin' to throw him in. I owe him one anyhow fer 
tearin' me father's pants. 

Squirmy {peeking out of imndow). Somebody's coming 
up the road. 

HucK. All ready, fellers. Lay low and don't breathe. 

Lozv, "sneaky" music. The boys line up on either side 
of the L. entrance. The stage is nearly dark. Moe Skin- 
sky fumbles at door L., finally opens it and peers in. He 
sees no one and enters L. He comes dozen C. 

Flap (loudly). Hurray! Grab him, boys! (They grab 
him.) 

Pinky. Mistah Chinaman, your time has come. 

Flap (in a sing song tone) : 
Up she goes, 
Back she goes, 
Out she goes, 
And in she goes. 

(Flap and Pink balance Moe back and forth until the 
words "in she goes," ivhen they seat him in the tub of 
water. ) 

Moe Skinsky. Help! Murder! Thieves! I'm robbed. 
I'm a dead man. (As they throzv him in tub.) Suffering 
catfish, I'm a drowned man, cause I can't svim a stroke, so 
help me Isaac. Help! Help! (End music.) 

Enter Judge and Norman from L. 

Norman. What's going on in here, anyhow? 

Moe. Help! Help! I'm a dead man. And I can't svim 
a stroke, so help me Isaac. 

Norman. Where's the light, father? 

Judge. , Here it is. (Lights up.) 

Norman (pulls Moe out of tub). Who did this? What 
is it? A gang of robbers? (The frightened boys all cluster 
at L.) 

Judge (dozvn R.). Huck, what does this mean? 

Huck. We thought it was the Chinaman. 



A COUNTRY BOY SCOUT 33 

MoE. They all jumped on me und nearly drowned the 
life out of me. Call the police. I've been assaulted and 
battered. I've been robbed. 

Judge. I think not, Mr. Skinsky. It was only a little 
lark. 

MoE. A lark? A lark? If dot was a lark, so help me 
Isaac, I never vant to see another von. 

Judge (at R.). Iluck, I want to have a talk with you. 
You'd better tell your friends to go. 

Flap. Sure, boss, it was all my fault. Don't be too hard 
on Huck. 

Pinky. No, sah, boss; it was all my fault. I ain't 
nuthin' but a nigger, no how. If you's gwine to fire any- 
body, fire me. 

Judge. That will do, boys. Good night. (Exit Squirmy 
at L., followed by all the boys except Huck.) 

Norman. I think this one was the ring leader, father. 

Moe. Dot's vot he was, so help me Isaac. He is a mur- 
derer und a robber und a 'salt und batterer. 

Huck (comes to Judge at C, pauses, looks at him sadly). 
Well, it was all my fault. I orter had better sense. The 
first time in me life I ever had a job and now I've spilled 
the beans. I don't want no pay. I'll get me hat and go 
back home. 

Judge. Wait a minute. Are you sorry for what you 
have done, Huck? 

Huck. Sorry? Gosh! I'm so sorry I could chew a brick. 

Moe. Und look at me. Maybe you dink dot I ain't sorry. 
He like to killed me, Judge. He jumped on me and threw 
me in a tub, und look at me now. I ain't a healthy man, 
nohow. 

Norman. Father, you ought to make an example of 
him. You ought to put a stop to this backwoods rough- 
house here at your mines. This boy ought to be put in jail. 

Huck (crying). Oh, no, boss; please don't put me in 
jail. Gimme another chance, boss. I ain't never had no 
chance before. I ain't never had a job ner a home ner 



34 A COUNTRY BOY SCOUT 

nothin', not even a dog. Please, Judge, gimme another 
chance. 

Judge. I have made up my mind. As my son says, I 
ought to make an example of you and put a stop to the 
lawlessness here at the mines. And I am going to make 
an example of you. I'm going to let you keep your job, 
I'm going to give you six dollars a week, and I'm going to 
trust you as I would my own son. (Shakes hands with 
him.) If I turn you adrift now without a home, without a 
friend, you'd probably turn out bad ; but I'm going to help 
you, boy, I'm going to be your friend. I'm going to make 
a Boy Scout of you, an honor to your town, to your 
country, and to your God ! 

Curtain. 



Act II. 

Scene: The same as Act'I. Stage is neatly arranged as 
the interior of a general store. Huck stands behind counter, 
zuearing a grocer's apron. Pinky stands at rear in front of 
window. Flapjack, Tubby, Squirmy, Micky, Buster, 
Freckles and Lengthy are seated around the stage. 

Before the curtain rises the boys are heard singing: 

SCOUT SONG. 

{To the tune of "Columbia, the Gem of the Ocean.") 
Oh, the Boy Scouts have captured the country, 

From the Gulf to th.e Lakes everywhere. 
From the east to the west they are loyal. 

Ever ready to do and to dare. 
And wherever our flag proudly flutters 

'Neath the folds of the red, white and blue. 
You'll find there a band of brave fellows, 
A patrol, ever willing and true. 

( Curtain rises. ) 
Three cheers for the B. S. of A. 
Three cheers for the B. S. of A. 



A COUNTRY BOY SCOUT 35 

Be Prepared is our watchword and slogan, 
Three cheers for the B. S. of A. 

A Boy Scout's courageous and worthy, 

(Pinky beats time at rear.) 
^ A Boy Scout is healthy and strong, 
They're the hope and pride of the nation, 

And they're striving to right every wrong. 
Then here's to the order we cherish. 

May she conquer and grow day by day, 
And here's to the Scout Law and Symbols, 

And here's to the B. S. of A. 

Three cheers for the B. S. of A. 

Three cheers for the B. S. of A. 

Be Prepared is our watchword and slogan, 

Three cheers for the B. S. of A. 

Flap. Sure that's a fine song and a credit to our patrol. 
And it's a fine lot of singers we are, if I do say it meself. 

Tubby. Pm going to learn how to play that piece on my 
trombone. I can play two lines of the chorus now, with 
hardly any mistakes at all. 

Buster. I wish our uniforms would hurry up and get 
here. We'll have some great parades when they come. 

Enter Judge from R. 

Judge. I heard you singing, boys, and it was very good. 
You'll soon have one of the finest patrols in this part of 
the country. I don't believe there are any boys anywhere 
who are braver and manlier than my country Boy Scouts. 

Squirmy. And there ain't a better Scoutmaster than 
you are. Three cheers for the Scoutmaster, fellows. 

All. Rah, rah. rah! Rah, rah, rah! Rah. rah, rah! 
Scoutmaster ! 

Squirmy. What's the matter with Judge Tolliver? 

Others. He's all right. 

Squirmy. Who's all right? 

Others. Judge Tolliver. 

Judge. I thank you, boys. And now, while I have a few 



36 A COUNTRY BOY SCOUT 

moments to spare, let us go over the Scout Law. I'll see 
what progress you have made in the past two or three days. 
When you took the Scout's oath and were enrolled in the 
Tenderfoot Class, you pledged your word of honor. What 
was that pledge, Huck? 

HucK (comes to C, faces Judge, folds arms). That we 
would do our duty to God and to our country, that we would 
help other people at all times, and that we would obey the 
Scout Law. (Goes back of counter.) 

Judge. Squirmy, what is the first Scout Law? 

Squirmy (rises, salutes, folds arms). A Scout is trust- 
worthy. That means that people can depend on us. When 
a Scout says a thing is so, it is so, and when a Scout says 
he is doing a thing, he does it. (Salutes and goes back to 
place.) 

Judge. To be dependable means that you must deliver 
the goods. It means to stand up for the right and to fight 
for your rights and your country's rights. 

Flap. You bet your life we're dependable. If anybody 
monkeys with this band, they're going to run up against a 
buzz saw. 

Freckles (at rear, caws three times, flaps his arms, crows 
like a rooster, then stands on his hands, his feet in the air). 

Others. Look at the circus clown. Hurrah for old 
Freckles. 

Judge. Flapjack, what is the second Scout Law? 

Flap (comes to him, salutes, folds arms). A Scout is 
loyal. That means that we must stick to each, other and be 
loyal to our bosses and all other folks. 

Judge. It means that you must stick together, back to 
back, shoulder to shoulder. You have a common enemy 
to fight. 

Flap. Lead me to him. Show him to me. I'll lick the 
stuffin 'out'n him. 

Judge. The greatest victory a boy can win is the victory 
over himself. 

All. Over himself? 

Judge. Yes, over his passions, over the selfishness and 



A COUNTRY BOY SCOUT Z7 

meanness inside of his own heart. Micky, what is the next 
law? 

Micky. A Scout is always helpful. Each of us must 
try to do a good deed for somebody every day. A Scout 
is a friend to all and a brother to every other Scout. 

Judge. And the next law? 

Freckles. A Boy Scout is courteous, kind to women 
and children, to the crippled and sick, to the aged and in- 
firm. And also to Chinamen. 

Judge. What is the next law, Tubby? 

Tubby. A Scout is kind and a friend to animals. I used 
to play my horn just to make my dog howl, but I don't do 
that no more. Now I'm always good to all kinds of animals. 
Last Sunday I kissed the cat. 

Judge. And the other laws, Lengthy? 

Lengthy. A Scout is obedient, cheerful and thrifty. 
That means don't grumble or whine and save your money. 
A Scout is brave, a Scout is clean, a Scout is reverent. 

Judge. Brave in the face of danger, brave enough to 
stand up for the right at all times, clean in body, thought 
and speech, and reverent to God, who made all things beau- 
tiful and good. Now, what is the Scout Motto? 

All, Be Prepared. 

HucK. A Scout should be prepared for anything — to 
help a brother Scout — to ford a stream — to gather firewood 
— to help strangers — to know right from wrong — to serve 
his fellow men, his country and his God — always to be pre- 
pared. 

All {rise, salute, sing) : 

A Boy Scout's courageous and worthy, 

A Boy Scout is healthy and strong ; 
They're the hope and the pride of the nation, 

And they're striving to right every wrong. 
Then here's to the order we cherish, 

May she conquer and grow day by day, 
And here's to the Scout Law and Symbols, 

And here's to the B. S. of A, 



38 A COUNTRY BOY SCOUT 

Three cheers for the B. S. of A. 
Three cheers for the B. S. of A. 
Be Prepared is our watchword and slogan, 
Three cheers for the B. S. of A. 
(All give the yell of the local patrol.) 

Judge. And just to think that only four weeks ago you 
were having a baseball game here in my supply store, using 
my breakfast food as baseballs. 

Tubby. And throwing the kike in the tub of vinegar. 

Flap. Whatever became of Mr. Skinsky, Judge? 

Judge. He went back to the city. I didn't think he was 
fit company for my boy Norman and I told him so in pretty 
plain words. So we got rid of him. 

Tubby. Say, Judge, when I get to be a high mucky-muck 
Boy Scout, can I learn how to play on all kinds of band 
instruments? I'm just crazy about music. I want to be 
the leader of a big brass band. 

Judge. Maybe you will some day. Tubby. In the mean- 
time you must practice. That will make you perfect. 

Flap. I want to be a detecative, Judge. That's why I 
joined the Scouts. To learn how to be a big detecative just 
like old Slooch, the terror of the Bad Lands. Gee, he could 
detect anything. 

Judge. Well, if there's anything goes wrong here. Flap- 
jack, I'll give you a chance to become a detective. 

Squirmy. Say, Judge, when will our uniforms be here? 

Judge. I think the whole equipment will be in in a day 
or two. Come, now ; what do you say to a little hike in 
the woods? 

All. Fine and dandy. 

Judge. All right. Squad, attention. (TJiey line up like 
soldiers.) Forward, march. (They inarch around stage, 
singing chorus of the Scout Song and then march out at L., 
led by Judge.) 

HucK (behind counter). Pinky, how would you like to 
be a Boy Scout? 

Pinky. Who? Me? No, sah. I ain't got no time to be 



A COUNTRY BOY SCOUT 39 

110 Boy Scout. I'se a man, I is. (Sweeps around rear of 
stage.) And besides, I ain't got no time. 

HucK. No time ? Why, you don't do anything but sleep 
and fish and eat. 

Pinky. Dat's all I does now, but it's comin' winter time 
soon. And when old Brother Winter comes along de snow 
and ice gwine to cover up everything, and old north wind 
is gwine to howl. Woo! And it's goin' to be cold enough 
to freeze your gizzard. Den I'se got to do one ob two 
things. I'se either got to go to work, or I'se got to get 
married. 

HucK. Married? You ain't old enough to get married. 

Pinky. Huh! I is, too. I'se nineteen goin' on thirty- 
six, and I'se got a girl. 

HucK. Why, Pinky, I should think you'd be ashamed. 

Pinky. Ain't nuthin' to be ashamed of. She libs over in 
Paris, Kentucky. She works in a hotel and makes four dol- 
lars a week. If I marries dat old gal I won't never have 
to work no more. 

PIucK. What's her name, Pinky? 

Pinky (acts bashful). Oh, I don't like to tell her name. 

HuCK. Go on, Pinky. I won't tell anyone. Honest, I 
won't. 

Pinky (acting bashful). Well, her maiden name is Pe- 
tunia, 

HucK. Petunia? Petunia what? 

Pinky. Her paw's name is Plaster. He's a boss barber 
in Paris, Kentucky. 

HucK. Her name is Petunia Plaster. And she lives in 
Paris. Sorter like Plaster of Paris, ain't it. Pinky? 

Pinky. She's a nice gal, she is. Kind ob chocolate col- 
ored brunette. I never did like no blonde gal, nohow. 
When she looks at you wid dem eyes, yum, yum ! When she 
squeezes your hand, yum, yum, yum ! And when she kisses 
you wif dem liver lips, oh, boy ! Dat gal kin act more lovin' 
in five minutes dan you-all ever knowed was in de world. 
I'm gwine over to court her next week. 

HucK. Oh, you're going to court Plaster, are you? 



40 A COUNTRY BOY SCOUT 

Pinky (laughs). Yas, sah, I'm gwine to court Plast'^r. 
And when sh.e marries me, I won't neber hab to work no 
more. Dat's how come I can't jine no Boy Scouts. 

HucK. I think the reason you can't join the Scouts is 
because you're a coward. 

Pinky. Who's a coward? Who's a coward? Boy, Pse 
de bravest man in dis here whole part ob de country. Dey 
ain't nuffin can scare me. 

HucK. Did you say nothin'? 

Pinky. Dat's what I said — nuffin. I hain't afraid ob 
no man, and I hain't afraid ob no woman, nor no dawg, ner 
nothin'. 

Huck (comes to him). You ain't? 

Pinky. No, sah, Pse a brave man, I is. 

Huck (grasps his arm). How about a ghost. Pink? 

Pinky. How about what? 

Huck. That haunt down cellar, way over in the dark 
corner? The one that goes Woo! Woo! Ain't you afraid 
of that? 

Pinky (nervously tzvists around). No, course I hain't. 
I hain't 'fraid of no old ghostesses, ner nothin'. Say, you 
hain't seen it lately, is you ? 

Huck. Yes, I did. I heard it this afternoon. I went 
down after some vinegar, and I heard it just as plain as 
anything. 

Pinky (sets barrel on trap). Let me set dis yere barrel 
on de trap door. Ob course I hain't afraid ob no ghost, 
but I don't like to hab nothin' to do with, 'em, dat's all. 

Huck. That old ghost down cellar seems to get worse 
each time I go down. The first time I heard him was about 
a month ago, the day we threw the man in the tub of vine- 
gar. The ghost only grunted a little that day. But you 
orter heard him this afternoon. 

Pinky (trembling). What did he do this afternoon, 
Huck? 

Huck. He riz right up and shook himself, and I heard 
him holler and heard chains rattle and smelt blood. 



A COUNTRY BOY SCOUT 41 

FiNKY (very much frightened). Hush, boy, hush ! He's 
Hable to hear you. 

HucK, Here, I got to nail a top on this barrel. (Points 
to barrel over trap.) Wait till I get the hammer. (Gets 
it.) You hold the board. (Nails hoard on, hits finger.) 
Ouch! (Dances around.) 

Pinky. Lemme see, lemme see. (Takes Huck's finger, 
starts to put it in his month, Huck gives him a back hander 
and Pinky falls on a box, then starts up zvith a yell.) 

Huck. What's the matter? 

Pinky (hopping around). Lawsy, lawsy; I done set on 
a nail. Where's de arnica bottle? (RusJies out at R.) 

Huck. It's under the sink. (Exits R.) 

Enter Wun from L. 

WuN. Bad boys chase poor Chinee. Me hide in barrel. 
(Gets in barrel.) 

Enter Pinky from R., folloxved by Huck. 

Huck (back of counter at R.). So you'd better look out, 
Pinky Pinfeathers, and not bother that ghost down in the 
cellar. Ghosts don't like niggers nohow. 

Pinky (leaning against barrel). And Lawd knows nig- 
gers don't like ghosts. But I ain't afraid ob him, no sah. 
If I was to see him I'd jest walk right up to him and hit 
him on the shoulder and say — (Wun reaches through bung- 
hole and pulls Pinky's leg.) Good Lawdy, Mistah Gh.ost, 
I didn't mean it; I didn't mean it. (Hysterically kneels at 
C.) Save me, save me! I didn't say nothin'. It wasn't 
me — it was him. 

Huck (crosses to him). Why, what's the matter, Pinky? 

Pinky (trembling and zvith chattering teeth). Didn't 
you see it? 

Huck. See what? 

Pinky. De ghost. 

Huck. Naw, you're full of prunes. 

Pinky. Dat dog-goned ghost reached clean up from de 
cellar, out'n de barrel and pulled me. 



42 A COUNTRY BOY SCOUT 

HucK. It's your imagination. Wait till I get a light. 
(Gets a candle.) 

Pinky. I don't need no light. I'm goin' home. 

HucK (brings lighted candle to bung-hole). You see, 
there's nothing there. (Wun blozvs out the candle.) 

Pinky (looking at it). Oh, lawsy, lawsy, lawsy ! (Kneels 
again.) I smell him dat time. 

HucK. It was the wind. Now, Pinky, I want to see 
how brave you are. Get up and go and look in that barrel. 

Pinky. No, sah. I ain't gwine near dat ole barrel. 

PIucK (gets revolver from counter, points it at Pinky). 
Hurry up. 

Pinky (suddenly turns tozvard Huck and sees revolver 
pointed at him.) Good-night! My last hour has come. 

Huck. Now you go over and look in that barrel. 

Pinky (trembling, rises). Has I got to do it? 

Huck (comes to him and pushes revolver at his back). 
You sure have. 

Pinky. Well, lemme go easy, lemme go easy. (Sneaks 
tremblingly to the barrel.) Jest like a mouse. (Turns to 
Huck.) Say, Huck, don't make me do it. Please, don't. 
How's I ever gwine to get married if dat ghost done 
catches me? 

Huck (pokes him -with revolver). Hurry up. Look in 
the barrel. 

Pinky. Well, if I must, I must. (Looks in barrel. 
Wun pidls his nose.) Oh, lawsy, lawsy, lawsy! (Runs to 
R. and kneels.) He pulled my nose. It's all over but de 
shoutin'. Oh, please, Mr. Ghost, lemme alone. I'se only 
a poor little nigger orphan boy wif only one mother and 
father. Help, help! (Wvn goes down through trap.) 

Huck. There's somebody in that barrel. 

Pinky. Yas, sah, dere's dat old ghost in de barrel. 

Huck (points revolz'cr at barrel). Well, then, I'm a-goin' 
to shoot the ghost. 

Pinky. Oh, lawsy, lawsy, lawsy, Huck, please don't hab 
no trouble wif dat ghost. He'll catch the bullet in his teeth 
and throw it right back at you. 



A COUNTRY BOY SCOUT 43 

HucK. I'll show you I ain't afraid. Now, then, one, 
two three. (Fires revolrer at barrel.) 

Pinky. Lawsy, dat old ghost kill dis yere whole town. 
I certainly wishes I was back wif my Petunia Plaster in 
good old Paris, Kentucky. 

HucK. ril bet we've killed the ghost. Come here. 

Pinky (positively). No, sah. I prefers to stay right 
here. 

HucK (turns barrel toivard audience, shozving nothing in 
it.) Well, what do you think of that? 

Pinky (picking a smouldering rag from the barrel). 
You'd done shot old Mistah Ghost and dere ain't nuffin 
left but his shirt-tail. 

PIuck. Fm going down cellar and see if I really did 
kill the ghost. (Exits R.) 

Pinky. And while de boss am gone Pm gwine to hab a 
free lunch.. (Takes a large piece of pie from counter. Puts 
barrel over trap. Sits on barrel. AVun comes up through 
the trap and gets in barrel. Comedy Coon Song may be 
introduced by Pinky at this point.) Ps gwine to work 
around here till I save up six bits and den Ps gwine to 
Paris, Kentucky, and court Plaster. She ain't got so very 
much, money, but I don't care, dere's lots ob girls as poor as 
Plaster. I said as pore as Plaster. Porous Plaster 
(Laughs.) I said as pore as Plaster. (Laughs. After a 
slight pause WuN repeats the laugh. Pinky's face changes 
from merriment to anxiety. Still sitting on the barrel he 
looks cautiously around, then laughs again.) Ha, ha, ha! 

WuN (in barrel). Ha, ha, ha! 

Pinky. Lawsy, lawsy, lawsy, he's done come back again. 

WuN (upsets the barrel). 

(Pinky falls off and runs about frightened. Wun, still 
in the barrel, runs about after him, zvith barrel over his 
head. Pinky kneels down R. and starts to pray. Wun 
throzi's the barrel over Pinky's head and runs out at L. 
Pinky yells.) 

Enter Huck from R. 



44 A COUNTRY BOY SCOUT 

Pinky (rolls over like dead.) Oh, lawsy, lawsy, lawsy! 
(Groans.) 

HucK. What's the matter? What were you trying to 
do with that barrel? 

Pinky. Oh, I's a dead nigger. I's a gone coon. Put a 
tombstone at my head and at my feet and carry me to the 
graveyard right away. 

HucK. Get up. (Pulls him to his feet.) Now, what's 
the matter wuth you? Have you been drinking nigger gin 
again ? 

Pinky. No, sah. Say, Huck, am I aHve? 

HucK. I'll stick a pin in you and see. (He does so, 
Pinky yells.) 

Pinky. Yas, sah; I'm alive all right. Dat old ghost 
(ione come up from the cellar, jumped right through dat 
barrel and lighted right on top of me. He was about 'leven 
million miles high and breathed out smoke and brimstone. 
He pulled me all around dis yere store, den slammed dat 
barrel down on my head and jumped out right through dat 
'ere ceiling. Man, man, I'm sure gwine to pack my trunk 
and move over to dat good old Paris, Kentucky. 

Huck. Humph, there wasn't any ghost down cellar at 
all. 

Pinky. No, sah, I knows dat. He was up yere yankin 
me clean to Kingdom Come. 

Huck. I went over in the corner to see what the noise 
was and I found a nest of young mice. They were our 
ghost?, Pink 

Pinky. No, sah. You can't fool me. There hain't no 
nest of young mice gwine to jump up here through, dat bar- 
rel and pulverize me ; no, sah. ! It was ghostesses. I heard 
'em, and I smelled 'em, and I seen 'em. 
Enter Judge from L. 

Judge. Huck, where's Norman? 

Huck. I don't know, sir. He was here about noon. 

Pinky (down L.). He went out walkin' down by the 
ribber wif dat Mr. Skinsky. 

Judge. Is Skinsky here? 



A COUNTRY BOY SCOUT 45 

Pinky. Yas, sah. He rode over about noon in a auto- 
mobile. 

Judge. Pinky, walk down by the river and tell my son 
that I want to see him at once. 

Pinky. Yas, sah, Gwine right away, sah. (Exit L.) 

Judge. Huck, I want a word with you. 

HucK (comes from beJiind counter and crosses to Judge 
at C). Yes, sir. 

Judge. I am sorry to say, Huck, that on two occasions 
during the past four weeks I have found a deficiency in 
the money drawer. Someone has been taking small sums 
of money from the cash drawer. The first time I missed 
eight dollars, the second time twelve dollars. You are sure 
you have locked the drawer every night? 

PIucK. Yes, sir. I always try it the last thing before 
I leave. 

Judge. You never found the lock broken or tampered 
with, have you? 

HucK. No, sir. 

Judge. There are only three keys to that drawer. I have 
one and you and Norman each have one. 

HucK. Say, boss, you don't think I stole that money, do 
you? 

Judge. I hardly think so, Huck. 

HucK. Well, I didn't. You're the only man who's ever 
given me a kind word in all my life. You're the only one 
who's ever given me a chance. And besides, Judge, Pm a 
Boy Scout — and Boy Scouts don't steal. 

Judge (takes his hand). I believe you, my boy; I be- 
lieve you. You don't suspect anyone, do you? 

HucK. No, sir. I feel sure that none of the gang took 
the money. That much Pm sure of. And dad's been in 
jail for three weeks , so he couldn't have took it. 

Judge. How about Pinky? 

Huck. Folks is mostly agin Pinky, Judge, 'cause he's 
black. But I know him — and I know his heart is white. 
Pinky never stole that money. 

Judge. It's a mystery. Maybe some of the Boy Scouts 



46 A COUNTRY BOY SCOUT 

can unravel it. (Crosses to R.) Tell Norman I want to 
see him as soon as he comes in. (Exits R.) 

HucK (after a slight pause). I know none of the fellers 
around here took that money. Maybe it was the ghost, 
though, I don't see what a ghost would want with money. 

Enter Flap, disguised as a girl. 

Flap (crosses to counter). Hello. 

HvcK (behind cotinter). Hello, sis. What you want? 

Flap. You got any condemned milk? 

HucK. Condemned milk ? Naw, we don't have that kind 
of milk. 

Flap. You do, too. There's a lot of it there on that shelf. 

HucK. That's condensed milk, sister. 

Flap. That's what I said — condemned milk. 

HucK. Not condemned milk — condensed milk. 

Flap. Oh, I didn't know there was any difference. 

HucK. How many cans do you want? 

Flap. I don't want none. I just wanted to know if 
you had it. Gimme four cents worth of red candy. 

HucK. Peppermint ? 

Flap. Yep, red and white stripes. 

HucK (gives him small sack of candy). There you are. 

Flap (searching pockets). I know I had some money 
when I started, but I reckon I lost it. Say, will you take a 
couple of stamps in pay for this candy? 

HucK. Sure, it's all the same to me. 

Flap (stamps txvice with his foot). There's one stamp, 
and there's two. By, by, buddy. 

HucK (runs out and grabs Flap). Hold on. You've 
got to pay for that candy. 

Flap. I'll give you two kisses and a hug. 

HucK. Nothing doing. You'll give me four cents or 
you don't get no candy. (Grabs his arm.) 

Flap (trying to get away). You lemme go, lemme go. 
(They struggle, Huck pulls Flap's sunbonnet off, showing 
him zvho it really is.) 

HucK. Well, I'll be blowed. Flapjack ! 

Flap. Hush ! Don't tell anybody. I'm in disguise. 



A COUNTRY BOY SCOUT 47 

HucK. What you in disguise for? 

Flap. I'm a detecative, and detecatives always go 'round 
in disguise. 

HuCK. Who are you going to detect? 

Flap. Oh, that don't make no difference. I'm just wait- 
ing for someone to commit a crime. 

HucK. What kind of a crime? 

Flap. Why, counterfeiting, or murder, or kidnapping, 
or robbery. 

HucK. Suppose there had been a robbery committed, 
how would you start about finding the thief ? 

Flap. I'd shadow him in disguise. That's the way they 
always do in books. 

HucK. But suppose you didn't know who he was? 

Flap. Then I'd just hang around where he was liable 
to do some robbing, and when he did, I'd nab him. 

HucK. But suppose he was bigger than you ? 

Flap. Oh, I'd catch him. I'd lay a trap for him. 
Enter Norman and Moe from L. 

MoE. But I tell you I von't be put off no longer. I 
von't stand it, so help me Isaac. 

Norman. Hush ! Huck, why don't you wait on this 
little girl? 

Flap. He did. I guess you all hain't got what I want. 

Norman. What is it you want? 

Flap. I want a beau. That's what I want. How would 
you like to be my beau? 

Norman. Don't be impertinent, little girl. 

Flap. Don't you be impertinent, little boy. (Snaps 
finger at him.) That for you. (Exits L.) 

Huck. Norman, your father wanted me to tell you that 
he wanted to see you as soon as you came in. 

Norman. Go and tell him that I'll come over to see him 
pretty soon. 

Huck. Yes, sir. (Exits R.) 

Moe (doivn L.). Now you got a plenty of money, und 
here I am und I ain't got a cent, und you owing me thirty 
dollars more. 



48 A COUNTRY BOY SCOUT 

Norman. I haven't got any money. I tell you father 
keeps me strapped all the time. 

MoE. I ain't here to listen to no foolishness. Vot I vant 
is money, und dot's just vot I'm going to get. For vy do 
you suppose I lended you forty dollars, if I didn't expect 
to get fifty back. Und all I've got so far is tventy, a eight 
und a twelve. Und I've vaited almost a month, yet already. 

Norman. I haven't got any money now and that's an 
end of it. 

MoE. Oh, no, it ain't der end of it at all. Either you pay 
me thirty dollars today or I go to your father und tell him 
dot I loaned you forty dollars to pay your debts in the city, 
und dot you stole tventy dollars from him to pay me back. 

Norman. How do you know I stole twenty dollars? 

MoE. Vere else vould you get it? 

Norman. I got it from the store here. I'm the man- 
ager of the store, ain't I ? 

MoE. Veil, if it's so easy to get, vy don't you go ahead 
and get the other thirty. 

Norman. Because my father suspects something is 
wrong. I can tell by the way he acts. 

MoE. If it's your own money, it ain't none of his busi- 
ness. Come on, now, I ain't got so much time. Go ahead 
und get me my thirty dollars from der cash drawer, und 
let me go back to the city. 

Norman. Father knows how much money we have on 
hand. He watches the cash drawer like a hawk lately. 
Honest, Mr. Skinsky, I can't pay you anything today. 
Maybe I can let you have two or three dollars next week. 

MoE. Vot? Votf Me vait another veek. I von't do 
it. I von't vait another day, so help me Isaac. 

Norman. If you go to father you won't get any money 
at all, and you'll get me in a lot of trouble. 

MoE (comes closer to him). I'll tell you vot to do. 

Norman. Well, what is it? 

MoE. I got a little scheme, und it's just as easy as pass- 
ing a counterfeit dollar at a county fair. Now vot you 
vant to do is to take the thirty dollars out of the drawer 



A COUNTRY BOY SCOUT 49 

and make your father believe that it was someone else vot 
took it. 

Norman. But — 

MoE. Vait a minute. It's awful easy. You got a boy 
vorking here vot's a reg'lar tramp. I don't like him no- 
how. He threw me in a tub of vinegar last month. Now 
all you got to do is to make der old man think dot he took 
the money, then you can pay me the thirty dollars und 
you von't never have no more trouble with me. 

Norman. Do you think I'd do a thing like that? 

MoE. It's plenty easy. You won't get caught. Der old 
man will blame the boy and send him to jail. How about it? 

Norman. I won't do it. I was a fool when I borrowed 
that forty dollars of you to pay off my debts, and I was a 
fool for not telling father. I may have been a fool, Moe 
Skinsky, but I'm not low down enough to steal thirty dollars 
and blame it on an innocent boy. 

Moe. Then you von't do it. 

Norman. No, I won't. 

Moe. Then let me do it. Let me go right over there 
now to the money drawer und get my thirty dollars. I 
can catch the night train und nobody will know vot become 
of the money. 

Norman. I won't do it. You shan't rob my father. 

MoE. It ain't robbery. You owe me the money, und I'd 
just be collecting my honest debt. If you are the manager 
of the store, don't some of the money belong to you? 

Norman (hesitates). Yes — I suppose it does. 

MoE. Then vot's der difference? 

Norman. It wouldn't be right. 

MoE. I suppose you'd rather have me go to your father 
und tell him dot you already stole twenty dollars for me 
since you been working here, but that you ain't goin' to pay 
me der other thirty dollars, would you? 

Norman. No, father mustn't know. Can't you trust 
me? I'll pay you every cent in a couple of months. 

MoE. Oh, no ; dot ain't business. Here I come all der 
vay from der city to collect mine honest debts, und you 



so A COUNTRY BOY SCOUT 

von't pay me. (Starts totvard R.) I'm goin' to have a 
talk mit your father, so help me Isaac. 

Norman (stands in the tvay). No, you are not. 

MoE. Then you've got to let me get the money. 

Norman. Father would miss it when he balances his 
accounts tonight. 

MoE. Veil, I'll vait till after he balances them. You 
leave the door unlocked und leave thirty dollars in der 
box, und little Moe Skinsky vill do the rest. (Pause.) 
Vill you? 

Norman. And what if I don't? 

MoE. Then right avay straight to your father I will go. 

Norman. I'll do it. You come back after dark and 
you'll find thirty dollars in the money drawer. 

Moe. Und leave the door unlocked. It ain't healthy for 
a man like me to climb in der window. It ain't, so help me 
Isaac. 

Norman. Yes, I'll leave the door unlocked. Now, 
you'd better go before my father sees you and begins to 
suspect something. 

MoE (crosses to L.). All right, I'll go. But if you don't 
leave me get dot money tonight I'll have you arrested und 
put in jail, so help me Isaac. (Exits L.) 

Norman. Oh, why did I ever go to that man to borrow 
money? I have been his tool, and now he wants me to 
rob my own father and put the blame on an innocent boy. 
This has taught me a lesson. I'll never go into debt again 
as long as I live. 

Enter Judge from R. 

Judge. Norman, I've been wanting to speak to you. 

Norman. Yes, sir. 

Judge. It's about some money that I have found missing 
from the cash drawer. On two occasions the receipts did 
not tally with the amount of goods sold. 

Norman. How much was missing? 

Judge. At one time I missed eight dollars and at an- 
other time twelve dollars. There are three keys to the 
drawer. I have one, you have one and Huck has one. 



A COUNTRY BOY SCOUT 51 

Norman (angrily). You don't think I took the money, 
do you? 

Judge. I have not accused you. I know that Huck has 
always had a bad reputation in the neighborhood, but since 
he has joined the Boy Scouts there has been a wonderful 
reformation in his character. 

Norman. Maybe the money was just lost or mislaid. 

Judge. That might have happened once, but it would 
not happen twice in four weeks. No, Norman, somebody 
has stolen that twenty dollars. 

Norman. How about the colored janitor. 

Judge. I don't think Pinky took it. And besides he 
hasn't any key to the cash drawer, and the lock has never 
been tampered with. Do you think Huck took the money? 

Norman (hesitates, looks down, pauses, then speaks 
slowly ) . I — don't — know. 

Judge. Do you think Huck is a thief ? 

Norman. No, sir, I don't. 

Judge. Norman, did you take that money? 

Norman (stauimers slozvly). I — I — I — 

Judge. Speak, my son, did you take that twenty dollars? 

Norman (looks at Judge, then pauses and looks guiltily 
down at the floor). 

Judge (after a pause). Did you? 

Norman. Yes, father, I took the money. 

Judge (surprised). You? My son a thief? A thief! 
(Sinks in chair at R.) 

Norman. I'll pay it back, honest, I will. Every cent. 
I didn't mean to steal it, exactly. I just needed that much, 
so I borrowed it. I'll save every cent I earn and pay it back. 

Judge. Why did you need twenty dollars, Norman? 

Norman. I needed it — well, I needed it for — (pauses). 
I just needed it. 

Judge. I won't question you any farther. I have started 
you up in business here, Norman, and you may handle your 
financial aflfairs to suit yourself. But I must insist on your 
paying back that twenty dollars. 

Norman. I'll do it. I'll pay every cent of it. 



52 A COUNTRY BOY SCOUT 

Judge. You earn a good salary now and are manager 
of this store. I want to develop your power to take caie 
of yourself. We'll say nothing more about this, then. 

Norman. I'll try to do better, father, and I'll never take 
another cent that doesn't belong to me as long as I live. 

Judge {takes his hand). I believe you, my boy, and I'll 
watch you grow into a strong, honest, reliable man with 
all the pride of a father's heart. 

Enter Huck from R. 

HucK. Is it time to close up. Judge? 

Judge (looks at his watch). It's nearly nine o'clock. 
We should have closed an hour ago. You'd better get to 
bed early, Huck. The whole patrol is going on a nine-mile 
hike at five o'clock in the morning. Come, Norman. 
(Exits R.) 

Norman. How much money in the cash drawer, Huck? 

HucK (back of counter). About forty dollars. Just 
$38.75. 

Norman. Give me the $8.75 and leave the thirty in the 
cash drawer. 

Huck. All right. There you are. (Hands him small 
sack.) 

Norman. Be sure and lock the cash drawer, Huck. 

Huck. Sure thing. I always locks the cash drawer. 

Norman. There might be a robbery tonight. There's 
no telling what might happen. 

Huck (locks drawer). There, she's locked. Everything 
is all ready to close up now. 

Norman. Are you going out? 

Huck. Yes, I thought I'd go over to Flapjack's a little 
while. 

Norman. He's the funny Irish boy who wants to be a 
detective, isn't he? 

Huck. Yep. That's him. I was asking him how he 
would catch a desperate robber or something, and he said 
he'd set a trap for him. Is that the way the detecatives do? 

Norman. Sure, Huck. That's the best way there is. 
Are you going to be a detective, too? 



A COUNTRY BOY SCOUT 53 

HucK. Who, me? Naw, I ain't got sense enough for 
that. But I reckon I could set a trap. That's easy — any- 
body can set a trap. 

Norman. Do you want me to lock up for you? 

HucK. Naw, I guess I won't go over to Flapjack's. 1 
just wanted to know about that trap. I'll lock up and then 
go to bed, so's I can get up early in the morning for the 
hike. 

Norman. Good night. (Exit R.) 

HucK. 'Night. (Arranges store for the night.) I won- 
der what's become of Pinky. If he don't get here pretty 
soon, he'll be locked out, and then he'll have to sleep with 
the mules in the barn. 

Pinky sticks his head in at window. 

Pinky. Who'll have to sleep with the mules? 
HucK. You will if you don't hurry up and get in here. 
Enter Pinky at L. 

Pinky. Well, lemme in. I ain't got no desirability to 
sleep with no mules. 

HucK. Say, Pinky, have you got that old skunk trap 
we used to use last winter? 

Pinky. Yas, sah. It's up in de loft under ma bed. 
What you want it for? 

HucK, Thought I'd try and catch, a skunk. 

Pinky. Ain't no skunks 'round here no more. And 
'sides dis ain't de time of year for skunks. 

HucK. Maybe I'll catch something else. Will you lend 
it to me? 

Pink. 'Course I'll lend it. Say, Huck, I'll bet you's 
gwine to try and catch dat ghost. 

HucK. Maybe I am. Lock the door and fasten the 
window. I got to get to bed and get up at five o'clock in 
the morning for the Boy Scout's hike. 

Pinky. I's done locked de door and fastened de win- 
dow. Say, I reckon I'd better set dat barrel over dat trap, 
kase if I don't dat old ghost is liable to disturb ma peace- 
fulness ; he shore am. 



S4 A COUNTRY BOY SCOUT 

HucK. I'll go up with you and get the trap. I might 
want to use it in the morning. 

Pinky. Well, if you does ketch dat old ghost in it, jest 
hold him tight till I gets dere. Kase when I does, I'm a 
gwine to kick seven thousand kinds of lightning out'n him, 
I shore am. (Exits R.) 

HucK. All right, Pinky. (Exit R., carrying lamp. 
The stage is in darkness.) 

After a slight pause Huck re-enters from R. carrying a 
steel trap and foUozvcd by Pinky carrying a lamp. 

Pinky. What you gwine to bait it with, Huck? I 
dunno what bait is good for a ghost. 

■ Huck. Hold the light here. (At money drazver.) I'm 
going to put the trap in the money drawer. 

Pinky. I neber heard ob a ghost goin' after a money 
drawer. Say, Huck, hurry up. It's dark yere and kind ob 
spookatorious. All ma bravery jes' naturally vanishes in 
the darkness ob de night. 

Huck (grasps his arm). Sh! Listen! 

Pinky. Oh, lawsy, lawsy, I's so skeerd dat I's turning 
pale clean down to ma toes. 

Huck. Someone is coming down the stairs. Turn out 
the light and hide under the counter. (They do so.) 

Pinky. If it's dat old ghost den it's good night, nigger. 
Did you put de trap in de drawer? 

Huck. No, I have it here. Sh ! Lay low. Somebody's 
coming in here. 

Pinky (groans). ~ 

Huck. Hush ! 

Enter Norman from R. carrying dark lantern. He 
crosses to imndoiv and tries it. 

Norman. It's locked. (Opens zinndozv.) Skinsky told 
me to leave it open. And to leave the cash drawer unlocked. 
(Goes to cash dravoer, takes out roll of bills.) Ten, fifteen, 
twenty, twenty-five, twenty-six, twenty-seven, twenty-eight, 
twenty-nine, thirty. Just the right amount. (Replaces bills 
in drazver.) I'll leave the drawer unlocked, and then, after 



A COUNTRY BOY SCOUT 55 

he's gone, I'll slip down and lock it up again. Tomorrow 
the thirty dollars will be gone, but I'll be done with Moe 
Skinsky forever. (At door R.) And I'll never borrow 
another cent as long as I live. (Exit R.) 

HucK (appears at C). Light the lamp, Pinky. 

Pinky. I's too scared to light anything. I guess I'll 
light out for good old Paris, Kentucky. 

HucK. Who was that? 

Pinky. Dat was the ghost. 

HucK. He opened the money drawer. 

Pinky. Did he steal the money? 

HucK. No, here it is, just like I left it. Now, I'll put 
this trap right on top, and if anyone touches the money 
they'll get caught in the trap. 

Pinky. Yas, but dey'll git away and carry de money 
and de trap away with them. 

HucK. Oh, no, they won't. You see this string, I'm 
going to tie one end to the trap. 

Pinky. What you gwine to do with the other end? 

HucK. I'm going to run the string up the stairs and tie 
the other end to your great big toe. 

Pinky. To my great big toe. Oh, lawsy, lawsy, I's a 
dead nigger sure. 

HucK. Then, when the burglar springs the trap, the 
string will pull your toe and we'll come down and catch 
the burglar. See how easy it is. 

Pinky. It sounds easy, but dat old trap is liable to pull 
by big toe clean off'n my anatomy. For goodness sakes, 
Huck, tie it easy. 

HucK. There! Everything is all right now. We'll see 
if we don't catch a skunk in the trap before morning. 
Come on. (Exit R.) 

Pinky. Dis here doings is mighty dangerous. If dat 
old toe pulls out, it's good night, Mr. Nigger. (Exits R.) 

After a pause Moe is heard fumbling at windozv. He 
opens it and looks in. Flashes dark lantern all aroimd 
room. Pause. He climbs in at the tvindoiv. 

Moe (flashing his light around stage). Veil, he left der 



56 A COUNTRY BOY SCOUT 

vindow open for me all right, und everybody seems to have 
gone to bed. This vill be an easy job. It vill, so help me 
Isaac! I'll just take charge of dot thirty dollars und catch 
der midnight train for the city. (Goes behind counter.) 
Here's der money drawer all right, und it ain't locked. 
I'm a lucky Israelite, I am. All I've got to do is to slip 
my hand in and — Owww! {He springs the trap in the 
money drawer, using a small stick for the purpose. This 
stick is not seen by the audience.) Oh, I'm killed, I'm 
killed. (Jumps around stage, screaming with pain.) 

Enter from R. Huck and Pinky wearing night-shirts. 
Pinky wears a night-cap tied with strings under his chin. 

Huck (jumps on Moe and throivs him down at C.) A 
light ! A light ! Bring a light. I've caught a skunk. 

Pinky (helps Huck hold Moe to floor). Lawsy massy, 
v^e's caught a ghost. 

Moe. Let me up. I'm killed, so help me Isaac. 

Pinky. Lawsy, lawsy, it's a Jew ghost. 

Enter from R. Judge and Norman, wearing dressing 
gowns and carrying lamps. Lights all up. 

Judge. What's the matter? What is it, Huck? Who 
have you got? 

Huck (at C). Me? I've got a skunk, that's all. And 
he's trapped, by jingo. 

Curtain. 



Act III. 



Scene: The same as Acts I and II. An afternoon 
several months later than Act II. The grocery store is in 
good order, the boxes and barrels that occupied the center 
of the stage in the tzvo previous acts have been removed 
and the counter shoved back as far as possible. A rope on 
a pulley is at rear C. On this rope is an American flag, 
but the flag is concealed from the audience by a chair or 
box. Judge is seated at R. Mr. M. at L. Bright music 



A COUNTRY BOY SCOUT 57 

takes up the curtain, hut stops as soon as characters speak. 
Lights on full throughout the act. 

Judge. I certainly am glad to see you again, Mr. Mc- 
Closkey. 

Mr. M. I had a day's vacation, so I thought I'd make a 
little visit here in the country. Things look pretty pros- 
perous. 

Judge. Yes, indeed. I have nothing to complain of. 

Mr. M. Ever had any trouble with the boys? 

Judge. Not at all. They're all Boy Scouts now, and 
no one ever has any trouble with Boy Scouts. 

Mr. M. What became of Gypsy Jake ? 

Judge. He died about a month ago. 

Mr. M. And his boy, Huckleberry — what became of 
him? 

Judge. He's still here working for me at the store. 

Mr. M. Pretty tough kid, ain't he? 

Judge. Far from it. He's the patrol leader of my 
Scouts and my right-hand man. He's one of the finest, most 
honorable young fellows I've ever met. Next year I'm 
going to send him to college. 

Mr. M. You don't say. Why he used to be the toughest 
kid in the county. 

Judge. That was because he never had a chance. I've 
given him that chance, and I'm proud to say I've made a 
man of him. 

Mr. M. How's your own boy getting along? 

Judge. There's been a wonderful change in Norman's 
character. He's joined the Boy Scouts and is living up 
to the Scout oath in every particular. It was a lucky day 
for me when I took him away from the temptations of the 
city and brought him here to the country. He's going to 
college with Huck in the fall. 

Mr. M. Well, I never thought you'd succeed. But you 
have, and you're all right. 

Judge. My success is due to the fact that I trusted my 
boys. I trusted them and I helped them. Some day they'll 
grow into big, honest, fearless men, a credit to their country 



58 A COUNTRY BOY SCOUT 

and their God. Then I'll know that my work has not been 
in vain. 

Mr. M. Whatever became of that colored roustabout, 
Pinky Pinfeathers? 

Judge (laughs). Oh, Pinky was more difficult to manage. 
He ran away about four months ago. He said he was 
going to Paris, Kentucky, and get married. That was the 
last we heard from Pinky Pinfeathers. 

Mr. M. (laughs). Married, eh? I suppose he wanted a 
wife to support him. 

Pinky looks in at the zvindozv. 

Judge. I suppose so. But if he ever returns, I'll do the 
best I can for him. 

Enter Pinky from L. 

Pinky. Boss, I has returned. 

Judge (rises, much surprised). Why, Pinky, where did 
you drop from? 

Pinky. Right out ob heaven, boss. 

Mr. M. Out of heaven? Then you're a long ways from 
headquarters. 

Judge. I thought you got married, Pinky. 

Pinky. Dat's right. Judge, I did get married. And dat 
was de one fatal mistake ob ma bright young life. 

Judge. A mistake, eh? W'asn't your married life happy? 

Pinky. Boss, my married life was so unhappy dat I 
runned away from ma bride four days after de wedding. 

Mr. M. (dozvn L.). What was the trouble, Pinky? 

Pinky. Well, sah, in de first place ma bride weighed 
two hundred and fifty pounds. 

Judge. Quite a large lady, wasn't she? 

Pinky. Large? Large? Boss, she was more'n large. 
She was ponderous. But dat was only de beginning. Sec- 
ondly, she had a wooden leg. 

Judge. You don't tell me. 

Pinky. Yas, sah. There I was married to half a 
woman and half a tree. Dat was enough, to rouse the risi- 
bilities ob any 'spectable colored man. But de climax come 



A COUNTRY BOY SCOUT 59 

one night when she banged me over de head wid dat old 
wooden leg. Dat's a thing I ain't gwine to stand in no bride. 
So I runned away, and here I is all ready to go back to 
work. 

Judge. Do you want your old place back again? 

Pinky. Yas, sah. 

Judge. Well, I think I'll try you once more. But you 
mustn't run away and get married again. 

Pinky. No, sah, no, sah. I wouldn't marry de most 
handsome and most richest woman in de state ob Ken- 
tucky. I wouldn't marry her if she had sixty dollars in 
de bank. Ps a bachelor now for de rest ob ma days. 

Judge. Well, if that's the case, you can come back to 
work. {To Mr. M.) You see, Pinky helped us to catch a 
burglar one time. 

Mr. M. So you had a burglary, did you? 

Judge. Yes, a man from New York tried to rob the 
money drawer, but Huck and Pinky were too sharp for 
him. Huck put a steel trap in the money drawer and 
caught the burglar in the very act. 

Mr. M. Did you have him arrested? 

Judge. No. I thought that under the circumstances 
we'd better let him go. He'll never trouble us again. 

Mr. M. I think Pll go over and take a look at the mines. 

Judge. Pll go with you for a little while. The Boy 
Scouts are getting ready for an exhibition drill for a church 
benefit. They're going to practice in here pretty soon and 
I have a little surprise for them. 

Mr. M. a surprise? 

Judge. Yes. Pm going to present them with an Amer- 
ican flag, the symbol of their country's honor. But come, 
let us go over to the mines. {Exit L. ivitli Mr. M.) 

Pinky. Lawsy, it does seem natural to be sagatiating 
'round here once more. It's de same old place. I wonder 
is dey ever caught dat old ghost dat reached clean up from 
de cellar through de barrel and nearly battered ma head oflf. 
I don't care. Pm so happy to be back again dat I could 



60 A COUNTRY BOY SCOUT 

sing and dance all day long. (Specialty may be introduced 
at this point.) 

Enter Wun from L. 

WuN. Hello, blackee. 

Pinky. Well, you kin shoot me dead wif a bowie knife, 
if it ain't my old friend Pigtail. (Shakes hands with him.) 
Glad to see you, Wun Lung Loo. How's Mrs. Loo and all 
de little Looies? 

Wun. All velly well. Heap much good time here now. 
No more bad boys. All good boys now. Me velly much 
pleased. You come down street and I buy you glass soda 
pop. Me velly good Chinaman now. 

Pinky. Lawsy, lawsy, I ain't had no soda pop since de 
last time. Say, where's Huckleberry? 

Wun. He allee samee Boy Scout now. Boy Scouts 
have big parade down the street. 

Pinky. Is dey gwine to hab a parade? 

Wun. Heap much marchee. {Imitates marching.) 
Hep, hep, hep. Sh.ootee nigger if he don't keep step. 

Pinky. Come on, Pigtail. We's shore got to see de 
excitement. (Exit L.) 

Wun. Me hurry allee samee fast like a mule. (Exit L.) 

THE MARCH OF THE BOY SCOUTS OF AMERICA. 

(Music: Any march played in strict tempo.) 

Enter from R. twelve or sixteen Boy Scouts in full tmi^ 
form, each carrying a staff. They march in couples once 
around the stage, staffs held over right shoulders. 

(a) March once around stage in large square, single 
file, turning corners sharply. Then once around in a circle. 
While marching, mark the circle smaller and smaller .until 
all face toward its center, elevate staffs to form a cone and 
march around. About face. March once around. 

(b) Down to center front in couples, cast ofif in couples, 
meet at rear and down to front four abreast. Cast off 
again and meet at rear and down to front eight abreast 
(if sixteen boys are used), or six abreast (if twelve). 



A COUNTRY BOY SCOUT 61 

(c) Spread out. Staffs held in both hands. Overhead, 
raise! (Placing left foot backward.) Repeat four times. 
Jump lightly as staffs are lowered. 

(d) Stand astride of wands. Swing arms forward and 
on toes rise. Swing arms backward and bend knees. Swing 
arms forward and jump forward. Repeat, jumping back- 
ward. All in strict time to music. 

(e) Still astride of wands. Swing arms forward and 
rise on toes. Swing arms backward and bend knees. 
Swing arms forward, clap hands, jump and strike heels 
together. Come to position. Repeat. 

(f) The front row side-step to R. and L. with staffs 
held at shoulder arms. The rear row form a pyramid with 
their staffs. 

(g) The bugler enters and stands at R. front. He 
blows "Reveille." 

(h) Music changes to "Columbia, the Gem of the 
Ocean." 

Boys all sinn : 

-^ ^ SCOUT SONG. 

Oh, the Boy Scouts have captured the country, 

From the Gulf to the Lakes everywhere. 
From the east to the west they are loyal. 

Ever ready to do and to dare. 
And wherever our flag proudly flutters 

'Neath, the folds of the red, white and blue. 
You'll find there a band of brave fellows, 

A patrol ever willing and true. 

Three cheers for the B. S. of A. 
Three cheers for the B. S. of A. 
Be Prepared is our watchword and slogan, 
Three cheers for the B. S. of A. 

HucK. Break ranks. (They break ranks.) Now, fel- 
lows, let's off with our coats and have some circus exer- 
cises, just to keep in training for our exhibition. 

Enter Pinky from R. 



62 A COUNTRY BOY SCOUT 

Pinky. Hello, boys. Vs done come back. 

All. Three cheers for Pinky Pinfeathers. (They give 
the cheers.) 

HucK. Where's your wife, Pinky? 

Pinky. Don't mention dat woman's name to me neber 
no more. I's a good, old, happy bachelor once more. 
(Looks at them.) My, my, you all certainly do look 
scrumptious. Look like shore enough soldiers. 

HucK. We are soldiers. The mightiest army in the 
world. The Boy Scouts. 

Norman. Come on, fellows ; let's get ready for our 
circus stunts. (Bright circus music.) 

WuN enters and with Pinky act as cloivns zvhile the Boy 
Scouts start their 

CIRCUS DRILL. 

All the boys stand close together facing L. in straight 
line. Each boy places left hand between his legs and takes 
the right hand of the boy behind. Last boy lies down with 
feet close together and between legs of the boy in front 
of him. The whole file walks astride slowly backward. 
When the next to the last boy can fit his feet into the 
shoulders of the boy already down he lies down, etc. When 
the entire line is down the last boy starts back astride across 
the line of boys and pulls up the next one behind him, etc., 
until all are up again. They have not let go of hands since 
they started. 

WHEELBARROW RACE. 

March to back of stage and across by twos, face the front 
and the formation is two long ranks. First rank places 
hands to the floor. Second rank picks up the heels of the 
first rank, who stiffen their backs to avoid any strain. 
First rank sets the pace and all move forward in time to 
music. Exchange positions and repeat. 

LEAP FROG RACE. 

Face left, march by twos ; come up center by fours, halt- 
ing about center of stage, all hands to the floor. Last boy 
in each file leaps over each boy in his file in turn. When 



A COUNTRY BOY SCOUT 63 

he passes third boy, the next one at the back starts. When 
each boy passes front, he spaces and places hands to floor. 

PUNTING. 

Four boys stand on barrels and try to dismount each 
other with long poles. The ends of the poles are heavily 
padded with excelsior and cloth. 

STUNTS. 

1. High jump over a cord. 

2. Tumbling. 

3. Forming pyramids. 
{Music ceases.) 

Enter Judge and Mr. M. from L. 
Judge. Boys, I have a little surprise for you. I h.ave 
intended for some time to make our patrol a little present 
and it arrived this morning. 

Squirmy. Three cheers for our Scoutmaster. {The 
cheers are given.) 

Judge. I have decided to present the patrol with an 
American flag, to instill in your breasts love and honor for 
your country. Flapjack, while the bugle calls to attention, 
you will raise the flag of American freedom on high, and 
each boy will r£peat the salute to Old Glory. 

{Boys line up, salute, bugle sounds, the flag is raised.) 

All (pointing to flag and speaking sloidy in unison). 

"I pledge allegiance to my flag and to the republic for 

which it stands ; one nation, indivisible, with liberty and 

justice for all." 

All {sing) : 

My country, 'tis of thee. 
Sweet land of liberty. 

Of thee I sing. 
Long may our land be bright, 
With freedom's holy light. 
Protect us by thy might. 
Great God our King. 

Slow Curtain, 



Mrs. Tubbs of Shantytown 

By WALTER BEN HARE. 
Price, 25 Cents 

Comedy-drama in 3 acts; 4 males, 7 females (5 are children). 
Time, 2i/4 hours. Scene: 1 interior. Characters: Mrs. Tubbs, 
the sunshine of Shantytown. Miss Clingie Vine, her lady boarder, 
real genteel. Mrs. Hickey, a neighbor whc iiates gossip. Maydelle 
Campbell, the young school teacher. Simon Rubbels, the corner 
grocery man. Tom Riordan, the census taker. Queenie, aged 
twelve. Methusalem, aged eleven. Billy, aged seven. Victoria, 
aged three. Elmira, aged ten. 

SYNOPSIS. 

Act I. — Mrs. Mollie Tubbs and her happy little family in 
Shantytown. The pretty, young school teacher and the Census 
Taker have a disagreement. Mrs. Tubbs as first aid to Cupid. 
Mrs. Hickey expresses Iier opinion of Simon Rubbels. Miss Clingie 
Vine has her census taken. "My maw was a Virginia Hamm, and 
whenever we had company, papaw always wore full evening 
garbage." Bad news from Kansas. "There ain't no way too far 
for a mother's love. I'm going to my boy." 

Act II. — A month later. Mrs. Tubbs returns. Simon Rubbels 
decides to find a wife. "If he ain't a red-headed hippopotamus, 
there never was one on this green earth." A Shantytown high 
jinks witli song and menagerie. Clingie Vine decides to be a siren. 
The liglit in the window for Jimmie. "I've got my babies, and 
I've got their love, and all the money in tlie world can't take that 
from me, so Mr. Simon Rubbles, the lionorable Mrs. Tubbs re- 
spectfully declines your offer of matrimony." 

Act III. — A Shantytown Thanksgiving. Mrs. Hickey brings the 
news and Miss Vine inherits a fortune. Mr. Rubbels worries Mrs. 
Tubbs again. "You kin turn me out in the streets tomorrow, but 
tonight this house belongs to me. Now there's the door and 
there's your hat. I won't detain you no longer." Miss Vine and 
the good looking grocery boy. "Jimmie, my boy, my boy!" The 
return of the Prodigal Son. "I reckon I'm the happiest woman ir 
the United States of America. My cup runneth over, my cuf 
runneth over!" ^Rg tUBBS SAYS: 

"Clingie's certainly a long time makin' up her mind, but when 
she's sot a steam shovel himself couldn't unset her." 

"I hope and I trust, and wlien a person hopes and trusts fer 
a thing they ginerally git it. Everything is bound to come out 
right some time." 

"I ain't goin' to worry. There ain't no use in h'istin' your 
umbrella until it begins to rain." 

"I jest do what I have to do and make the best of it. Mr. 
Tubbs used to say that my voice would scare anything, so I jest 
try to make it scare tlie blues." 

"Bibulous? Bibulous, Theodore Tubbs, bibulous? Wliy, mister, 
that man didn't know no more about the Bible than my sister's 
cat's tail. And what's more, I ain't got no sister. 

"Men is men tlie liuU world over, and it seems jest like it's 
a man's nature to do that which they oughtn't to do, and to leave 
undone them things they ought to have did. That's Scripture." 

"What difference does money make? If you've got your youth 
and your strength and your love, that's worth all the money that 
was ever made in this whole world." 

"Love your country and stand up fer it to the last ditch. Poor 
folks can love their country jest the same as rich ones. And better." 

"Keep smiling." 

T. S. DENISON & COMPANY, Publishers 

154 W. Randolph Street, CHICAGO 



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Price 15 Cents Each, Postpaid, Unless Different Price Is Given 



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Borrowed Luncheon, 20 min.. 5 
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First-Class Hotel, 20 min 4 

For Love and Honor, 20 min.. 2 1 
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Two of a Kind, 40 min 2 3 

Uncle Dick's Mistake, 20 min.. 3 2 
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M. F. 

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Wrong Baby, 25 min 8 

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Ax'in' Her Father, 25 min.... 2 '3 
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Cold Finish, 15 min 2 1 

Colored Honeymoon, 25 min... 2 2 
Coon Creek Courtship, 15 min. 1 1 
Coming Champion, 20 min.... 2 
Coontown Thirteen Club, 25 m.l4 

Counterfeit Bills, 20 min 1 1 

Darktown Fire Brigade, 25 min. 10 
Doings of a Dude, 20 min.... 2 1 

Dutch Cocktail, 20 min 2 

For Reform, 20 min 4 

Fresh Timothy Hay, 20 min ..21 
Glickman, the Glazier, 25 min. 1 1' 
Good Momin' Judge, 35 min.. 9 2 

Her Hero, 20 min 1 1 

Iley, Rube! 15 min 1 

Home Run, 15 min 1 i^ 

Jumbo Jum, 30 min 4 .^ 

Little Red School House, 20 m. 4 

Love and Lather, 35 min 3 2 

Marriage and After, 10 min.. 1 

Memchis Mose, 25 min 5 1 

Mischievous Nigger, 25 miii.. 4 2 

Mistaken Miss, 20 min 1 1 

Mr. and Mrs. Fido, 20 min.... 1 1 

Oh, Doctor! 30 min 6 2 

One Sweetheart for Two, 20 m. 2 
Oshkosh Next Week, 20 min . . 4 

Oyster Stew, 10 min 2 

Pete Yanseu's Gurl's Moder, 10;n. 1 

Pickles for Two, 15 min 2 

Pooh Bah of Peacetown, 35 min. 2 2 
Prof. Black's Funnygraph, 15 m. 6 

Sham Doctor, 10 min 4 2 

Si and I, 15 min 1 

Special Sale, 15 min 2 

Stage Struck Darky, 10 min.. 2 1 
Sunny Son of Italy, 15 min.. 1 

Time Table, 20 min 1 ' 

Tramp and the Actress, 20 min. 1 1 
Troubled by Ghosts, 10 min... 4 
Troubles of Rozinski, 15 min.. 1^ 
Two Jay Detectives, 15 min.. .i 

Umbrella Mender, 15 min 2 

Uncle Jeff, 25 min 5 2 

What Happened to Hannah, 15m. 1 1 



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Dialogues, drills, plays. 
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The Favorite Speaker, 

Choice prose and poetry. 
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For pupils of all ages. 
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Clever, humorous, original. 



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Choice collections, pathetic, hu- 
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Very popular drills and marches. 
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Fresh, novel, drills and marches. 

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Monologues, dialogues, drills. 
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Recitations, dialogues, drills. 
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Dialogues, exercises, recitations. 
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A gem of a book. 
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Little Folks' Budget. 

Easy pieces to speak, songs. 
One Hundred Entertainments. 

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Patriotic Celebrations. 

Great variety of material. 
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Entirely original features. 
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How to put on plays. 
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Charades, and how to prepare. 
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New and novel; for all ages. 
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A choice Christmas collection. 

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Black American Joker. 

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Monologues, stump speeches, etc. 
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